The Ocean of Secrets
The contrast provided by twilight to day was highlighted by
the realization that the flowers that smelt quite well in the day had begun to
give an unpleasant odour. The night had been as dark and silent as death, and
yet its dark hues were vibrant with the verbosity of an orchestra. She looked
forward to a quiet and content life with him after the roller-coaster-ride she
had been through. Her lowered gaze shielded the ardour she had for me. She
bowed her head as if to signify a farewell to me and welcome him into her life.
Destiny had brought them together, but their fates kept them
apart. Marital bliss had crept into their lives through the backdoor, but it
had also receded by the same route at the same pace. She deserved his love and yet
she found herself in search of love even after six months of marriage. There
were miles separating them despite the bond of marriage that is supposed to
bring two distant beings near. She longed for his love as a famished Arab pines
for a few drops of water. She longed to be looked at, touched, felt and smelt.
And he could not give these to her.
She sat up riddled with hunger that night waiting for him;
he simply ignored her when he returned. It crushed her heart when she realized
his neglect. She had done her best to look good that night, but he simply
ignored her. All her efforts at capturing his attention were in vain. He had a
heart of stone. He had given her everything money could buy, but money can
never buy time. She only wanted a bit of his precious time. She could sacrifice
all her comforts for a wee bit of his love. She didn’t consider herself wrong
in asking for it; it was her right as his wife.
She began to wonder if he loved someone else. Their marriage
had been arranged by their parents. She had managed to bury all signs of all
former attachments, but her didn’t seem to be have any attachment, not even
with her. He was the kind of person who couldn’t be affiliated with anyone. He
could never be expected to plunge deep into the ocean of secrets a woman’s
heart is. His eyes could never glitter with a woman’s dreams, his ears could
never hear a woman’s voice.
I could never be a solution to her problems, it was clear. I
had coveted the bond with her, but her parents didn’t seem to like me, so I had
to give up all ideas of a life with her. I wish I could go back in time and convince
her parents of the domestic disaster they bargained for. I was not sure whether
to rejoice at her plight, or join her in mourning the decay of a relationship.
At times, I wanted to barge into her life and kick him out of it; he didn’t
deserve to be with her.
She certainly deserved to be with someone better than him.
She deserved to be with someone who could fathom the depth of the ocean of
secrets her heart was. She deserved to be loved and respected. I knew her since
she was a student. The point of discord between us was the disparity in our
ages. The rift broadened with the passage of time. I now realize that my love
for her was the artificially stimulated coveting of mature age.
The night shall eventually give way to broad daylight, but
it was a night without end for her. She would be a mute spectator as the darkness
of the night would gather itself and eventually become more intense. Unless she
chose to rebel against fate, she would have to put up with her lonely life. Her
acceptance of fate gives her the courage to live through all unpleasant things,
and it would help her live the rest of her life too. The secret shall remain
buried in the ocean forever and a day.
