MEET MY IN-LAWS
I sometimes wonder what my reaction would be when Zeenat would introduce me to her future in-laws. I’ve always been a proponent of love and love-marriages, I back every lover making a beeline to a love-marriage to the hilt, but I’ve never thought of the moments when the truth would be before my very self. I wonder if I would sanction her choice with a smile or with a scowl. It has been my heart-felt wish to elope with someone who would be like me, but when Zeenat heralds an entry into my world, all these values would have changed, all these wishes would be gone.
Gone are the days when a deliberated choice made by our parents after a lot of calculations was considered to be as good as the final saviour of mankind. In a predominantly orthodox Indian society marching obstinately towards the next millennium, our parents remain obsessed with the concept of arranging our marriages. They browse through the matrimonial columns of dailies with such sobriety and piety that our own set of dreams are often ruffled. They dream such wild dreams, what they don’t realise is that our set of dreams and aspirations are as important and sometimes more important, they don’t realise that very little would remain in our world once these dreams are gone.
Gone are the days when a shy, quiet and demure girl entered the living room with a tray bearing tea-cups. It is a part of Indian history when young boys and girls were introduced to each other as a part of the tradition of marriage. With the passage of time, the institution of the traditional Indian marriage has undergone a sea-change. As Indians, while we have managed to stick to our traditions when it comes to celebrating a festival, a birth in the family, or even a marriage, the manner in which marriages used to be arranged, the manner in which our parents’ marriage was arranged, has become obsolete. On deeper reflection, the truth emerges that the change has been forced upon the society by the tremendous changes that have crept into it.
It is imperative for the society to change with time, many of our values and ideals have undergone a change too. The Indian society has come to accept several modes of communication that have accelerated the changing social patterns. The boom in the IT sector has given an important tool in the hands of our young Romeos and Juliets, it is not an uncommon sight to find a girl or a boy engaged in private conversation for hours to end on the mobile, but with it, they ensure that their love-stories don’t have a similar end as that of Romeo and Juliet. The introduction of the mobile as a means of communication has certainly been a boon for the love-struck. We have used the telephone so efficiently in our love lives that even Alexander Graham Bell would blush if he were told of the use of his invention. We can now talk to our hearts’ content without any interruption. We have used the modern version of the telephone with such excellent results that the cell phone operators are proving to be a thorn in the flesh of the dailies and weeklies that specialize in matrimonial columns. The traditional landline phone is used only by our parents to discuss the dates of our matrimony.
Marriage emerges as the most essential part of all love-stories, so everyone should be prepared tobe introduced to one’s samdhi and samdhan the day the kids learn to talk. The final date of marriage is hastened as young boys and girls use the internet to facilitate communication. The internet has not only created a global village of the world, but it has also brought young hearts together. Today, young boys and girls can chat with each other to their hearts’ content without even the slightest hint of an amorous contact.
The amorous contact is merely a prelude to the imperative and essential contact between our parents. The skills and talents of the prospective bride and groom no longer matter: it is the compatibility of the in-laws that is put to test now. They don’t have much of a choice though when the choice has already been made by us. The changing times have brought forth the scenario where it is the parents who are put up for display, and for a change, it is the parents who have to behave properly. The entire crux of the matter depends on how they conduct themselves. They are often groomed to fit into the picture. They have to behave properly happen what may. All this ensures a smooth transfer of the girl’s residence with the usual deluge of tears. This is what happens in India.
The Indian girls cannot give up the tradition of crying and shedding tears despite the truth that the Indian youth have finally caught up with the West in several ways including the concept of arranging a marriage between two sets of parents brought together to come to common terms despite any apparent differences if only for the sake of the kids. This is something that runs parallel to the time when young boys and girls were introduced to each other to check their compatibility. This is not another Western concept adopted by the Indians as another mark of modernity. This has been there ever since the Vedas were memorized by our ancestors. The Vedas even prescribe a form of marriage arranged by the love-birds. Our ancestors would have been proud of us had they known of the way we solemnize marriages in modern India. All said and done, traditions seem to have lost the race with modernity.
Marriages in modern India are as much made in heaven as in the medieval times, the only difference is that the heavens have now drifted a bit close to the earth. The nod of the parents doesn’t matter all that now, they are there only to make the final arrangements, what matters is our marital bliss, we must be in heaven soon after intimating our parents or even without intimating them.
Some parents emerge from the crisis a lot happier because their kids have done all the dirty work involved in selecting the right partner, some simply can’t believe that their research for our partner has gone to the gutter, while some end up mourning the choice if it turns out to be from a different social class, community or even a different religion. This brings out the reality that our parents also deserve some amount of satisfaction. From this realisation emerges the importance of the preparations for introducing the respective samdhi and samdhan. At times, they have to be groomed, taught etiquettes, and sometimes even tutored how to behave. After all the objections and negative words, it turns out that each of our parents has to embrace the other’s equations whether they like it or not. While we make the final deal between ourselves, very little is left for our parents to do. It is high time that our parents realised that the present generation and the generations to come are capable of making a good choice themselves. I hope Zeenat does make a good choice for herself.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
THE COLOURS OF MY LIFE
THE COLOURS OF MY LIFE
It was raining. None of us wanted to get off the car, none of us wanted to quit the automobile, not because of the rain, but each of us wanted to be in the car that was our last stop for excitement that day. There was a bitter fight among us on the issue of who would be dropped home first, and who would be the last. Each of us wanted to be in the car till the very end, each of us waned to preserve the excitement till the very end. The trip to Azdabia had brought about an element of change in our lives, for the world we were children; we had just entered our teenage, the world was fresh and new.
Novelty in all forms has been embraced by me at al different stages of life. Novelty has brought with itself excitement, Azdabia and Mickey always injected my life with a fresh dose of excitement. The excitement usually began at the gates of the school at 2 pm, it went a long way over the arid lads around Benghazi to the camp of the Indian Road Construction Company (IRCC) in Azdabia.
The IRCC camp in Azdabia did not hold much potential for excitement, but being together in the company of friends filled us with happiness. These days taught some important lessons to me. I now realise that it is being in the company of others that is called love. Whenever I see young boys and girls connodling in McDonald’s or Pizza Hut or in other public places, I’m reminded of this theorem of life.
Life was just beginning then, the vast span of life lay before me, there was a smile on my face as the car raced across the road towards Azdabia. The sun had just begun its descent from the zenith, but this could not wipe away the smile on my face. It only channelised my happiness. We enjoyed each other’s company, we played together, we went for treks over the desert, the desert had only rocks and sand, but walking together with a tape-recorder for company was like living our entire lives in just one day: it was our common passion for music that bound us together. There were several such days in the year, Azdabia hosted our group for the night on several occasions. These instances resonate with a unique frequency in my life. Compound utterances address themselves to my senses when I think of these moments. It is possible to view by the mind the features of the IRCC camp in Azdabia. Acoustic pictures are returned from the vivid scenery: I can hear the very notes of our happiness. The fleeting moments have left behind a lasting impression on my mind. Memories of these days are refreshed whenever I look at the photographs.
The photographs could capture only the physical aspect of the passing moments. The emotional aspect is safely preserved in my heart. They form some of the most beautiful memories of my life. Although a large part has been eaten away by time---20 years have gone by--- a few of the emotions yet remain undisturbed in my mind. They seem to have established themselves in a sort of timelessness.
Time shall eventually work on what remains of these memories. They would fall into the trap that life lays before us: these memories would eventually fade into eternity just as several others have. Memories of these days remind me how close-knit we were as friends. True friendship remains confined to that age, and that stage of life. We were together for no specific reason other than our age, all of us were on the thresholds of our teenage.
Teenage is the age when our personalities develop: the backward and forward play of our lives eventually saw all of us emerging as different and distinct individuals. Although I do respect the different personalities we developed into, we parted ways in several ways, things were never the same again, and life was never the same again. It was like the sun breaking up into the many stars in the sky.
The sky seems to be mourning the celestial event: it rained last night. The change was welcome after the hot and dry weather. The change suppressed the echoes of the past. The echoes of the past travel across the horizon faster in the hot weather. The voices of the present are not enough to suppress the echoes of the past: I find myself looking towards the heavens for a favourable constellation in the sky. At these times, I blame my stars for my fate, but I brighten up as I spot a favourable constellation in the sky.
The sky has stopped crying after all these years, there is a huge difference between then and now, there is neither thunder, lightning nor rain, the sky is not overcast with clouds anymore, there is no reason to mourn now. I see no point in retaining the reason why I fell prey to the lures of life’s tricks: life moulded each of us into entirely different individuals, the ruthless flow of time only adds to the realisation that things did not remain the same, all of us changed, all of us flowed with time. These tricks of my life have the potential to raise an orchestra of voices within me protesting against the antics of my fate and destiny. The notes of my life symbolizing my protest against fate occasionally o flare up like fire, but they also fade away with equal ferocity in a few moments. The beauty of life lies in the manner the dying embers are fanned into a dazzling bonfire after the flames have been doused, giving way to the varied colours of my life.
It was raining. None of us wanted to get off the car, none of us wanted to quit the automobile, not because of the rain, but each of us wanted to be in the car that was our last stop for excitement that day. There was a bitter fight among us on the issue of who would be dropped home first, and who would be the last. Each of us wanted to be in the car till the very end, each of us waned to preserve the excitement till the very end. The trip to Azdabia had brought about an element of change in our lives, for the world we were children; we had just entered our teenage, the world was fresh and new.
Novelty in all forms has been embraced by me at al different stages of life. Novelty has brought with itself excitement, Azdabia and Mickey always injected my life with a fresh dose of excitement. The excitement usually began at the gates of the school at 2 pm, it went a long way over the arid lads around Benghazi to the camp of the Indian Road Construction Company (IRCC) in Azdabia.
The IRCC camp in Azdabia did not hold much potential for excitement, but being together in the company of friends filled us with happiness. These days taught some important lessons to me. I now realise that it is being in the company of others that is called love. Whenever I see young boys and girls connodling in McDonald’s or Pizza Hut or in other public places, I’m reminded of this theorem of life.
Life was just beginning then, the vast span of life lay before me, there was a smile on my face as the car raced across the road towards Azdabia. The sun had just begun its descent from the zenith, but this could not wipe away the smile on my face. It only channelised my happiness. We enjoyed each other’s company, we played together, we went for treks over the desert, the desert had only rocks and sand, but walking together with a tape-recorder for company was like living our entire lives in just one day: it was our common passion for music that bound us together. There were several such days in the year, Azdabia hosted our group for the night on several occasions. These instances resonate with a unique frequency in my life. Compound utterances address themselves to my senses when I think of these moments. It is possible to view by the mind the features of the IRCC camp in Azdabia. Acoustic pictures are returned from the vivid scenery: I can hear the very notes of our happiness. The fleeting moments have left behind a lasting impression on my mind. Memories of these days are refreshed whenever I look at the photographs.
The photographs could capture only the physical aspect of the passing moments. The emotional aspect is safely preserved in my heart. They form some of the most beautiful memories of my life. Although a large part has been eaten away by time---20 years have gone by--- a few of the emotions yet remain undisturbed in my mind. They seem to have established themselves in a sort of timelessness.
Time shall eventually work on what remains of these memories. They would fall into the trap that life lays before us: these memories would eventually fade into eternity just as several others have. Memories of these days remind me how close-knit we were as friends. True friendship remains confined to that age, and that stage of life. We were together for no specific reason other than our age, all of us were on the thresholds of our teenage.
Teenage is the age when our personalities develop: the backward and forward play of our lives eventually saw all of us emerging as different and distinct individuals. Although I do respect the different personalities we developed into, we parted ways in several ways, things were never the same again, and life was never the same again. It was like the sun breaking up into the many stars in the sky.
The sky seems to be mourning the celestial event: it rained last night. The change was welcome after the hot and dry weather. The change suppressed the echoes of the past. The echoes of the past travel across the horizon faster in the hot weather. The voices of the present are not enough to suppress the echoes of the past: I find myself looking towards the heavens for a favourable constellation in the sky. At these times, I blame my stars for my fate, but I brighten up as I spot a favourable constellation in the sky.
The sky has stopped crying after all these years, there is a huge difference between then and now, there is neither thunder, lightning nor rain, the sky is not overcast with clouds anymore, there is no reason to mourn now. I see no point in retaining the reason why I fell prey to the lures of life’s tricks: life moulded each of us into entirely different individuals, the ruthless flow of time only adds to the realisation that things did not remain the same, all of us changed, all of us flowed with time. These tricks of my life have the potential to raise an orchestra of voices within me protesting against the antics of my fate and destiny. The notes of my life symbolizing my protest against fate occasionally o flare up like fire, but they also fade away with equal ferocity in a few moments. The beauty of life lies in the manner the dying embers are fanned into a dazzling bonfire after the flames have been doused, giving way to the varied colours of my life.
Monday, May 4, 2009
IT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
IT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
I could not help writhing in anger at the thought of the unendurable realities that I have been through. These truths do return to haunt me from time to time. Though they form a part of my past now, yet a reminiscence once in a while results in uncontrollable spasms of anger and hatred. They were so severe that I could not help shaking all over in anger.
The anger makes me realise that I have felt more steam and smoke than my peers. The more that I see of life, the more do I perceive that there is nothing particularly noble in its great walks, and also that there is nothing particularly small in mine. I feel that the greatest blessings vouchsafed to us are, after all, not as valuable, but I do feel at a great loss when they are taken away.
When these blessings are taken away, they seem to assume the greatest importance and significance. The simplicity with which this truth of life has been put forth before me is commendable. I sometimes marvel at the utter simplicity with which life has presented itself, but I am also awestruck by the metaphors used in telling the story: The Creator does have a wonderful sense of dramaturgy. He has used the element of surprise in the drama of life so judiciously that recognizing the truth of a moment of my life has been as exciting as discovering the soul of the universe.
The universe that exists around me is haunted by the ghosts of my past. My past has some beautiful moments under its umbrella. The entire aura becomes beautiful when I think of these moments, these thoughts have kept me kicking all these years. These thoughts are like a whiff of fresh air to me. They are my best friends: they listen to my inner voice, they can even read the echoes transcribed by my silence on the fabric of my life, they have been with me through thick and thin, they shall always be with me. Though the physical part of these moments have disappeared like vapour a soon as they have manifested themselves, yet their presence in my life is as essential as air in my lungs.
The air in my lungs is as essential to sustain me just as imagining the beautiful moments that just might be here someday sustain life within me: Zeenat sustains life within me: I must think of her, I must dream of her. The echoes of Zeenat’s cries shall reverberate across all the corners of my life. Zeenat is the ray of hope for my sustenance. I wish for Zeenat as an insane man yearns for another life without insanity. Thinking of Zeenat has had the potential to push my emotions to the zenith. Her thoughts collide with my present, but the collision provides relief to me as the music produced by the collision is better than the one produced by last night’s experiences.
Last night’s experiences recurred a few moments ago. The spasms of anger and frustration that I experienced were certainly not pleasant. The worst part of this is that I cannot do anything to control this: the seeds were sown consciously or unconsciously a long time ago, but the fruits are being reaped today. These attacks could prove to be detrimental to my future: I must pay the price of the crimes that I did not commit, for the crimes committed by someone else.
Someone else would be required to fill in the gaps created by the foes of my history. The gaps would continue to haunt me till she takes over the reins of my life. I wonder how long these gaps would continue to haunt me. I am certainly not in a hurry, I want to enjoy every entity that life throws my way, I want to enjoy the moments of withdrawl that her presence would bring into my life. To enjoy them to their full potential, I must bear the spasms of anger and frustration, I must quietly bear what happened a few moments ago, and I must quietly bear last night’s experiences. I cheer myself with the undying hope that she and Zeenat would prove to be worth all this and more, I hope my life is worth all this and more.
I could not help writhing in anger at the thought of the unendurable realities that I have been through. These truths do return to haunt me from time to time. Though they form a part of my past now, yet a reminiscence once in a while results in uncontrollable spasms of anger and hatred. They were so severe that I could not help shaking all over in anger.
The anger makes me realise that I have felt more steam and smoke than my peers. The more that I see of life, the more do I perceive that there is nothing particularly noble in its great walks, and also that there is nothing particularly small in mine. I feel that the greatest blessings vouchsafed to us are, after all, not as valuable, but I do feel at a great loss when they are taken away.
When these blessings are taken away, they seem to assume the greatest importance and significance. The simplicity with which this truth of life has been put forth before me is commendable. I sometimes marvel at the utter simplicity with which life has presented itself, but I am also awestruck by the metaphors used in telling the story: The Creator does have a wonderful sense of dramaturgy. He has used the element of surprise in the drama of life so judiciously that recognizing the truth of a moment of my life has been as exciting as discovering the soul of the universe.
The universe that exists around me is haunted by the ghosts of my past. My past has some beautiful moments under its umbrella. The entire aura becomes beautiful when I think of these moments, these thoughts have kept me kicking all these years. These thoughts are like a whiff of fresh air to me. They are my best friends: they listen to my inner voice, they can even read the echoes transcribed by my silence on the fabric of my life, they have been with me through thick and thin, they shall always be with me. Though the physical part of these moments have disappeared like vapour a soon as they have manifested themselves, yet their presence in my life is as essential as air in my lungs.
The air in my lungs is as essential to sustain me just as imagining the beautiful moments that just might be here someday sustain life within me: Zeenat sustains life within me: I must think of her, I must dream of her. The echoes of Zeenat’s cries shall reverberate across all the corners of my life. Zeenat is the ray of hope for my sustenance. I wish for Zeenat as an insane man yearns for another life without insanity. Thinking of Zeenat has had the potential to push my emotions to the zenith. Her thoughts collide with my present, but the collision provides relief to me as the music produced by the collision is better than the one produced by last night’s experiences.
Last night’s experiences recurred a few moments ago. The spasms of anger and frustration that I experienced were certainly not pleasant. The worst part of this is that I cannot do anything to control this: the seeds were sown consciously or unconsciously a long time ago, but the fruits are being reaped today. These attacks could prove to be detrimental to my future: I must pay the price of the crimes that I did not commit, for the crimes committed by someone else.
Someone else would be required to fill in the gaps created by the foes of my history. The gaps would continue to haunt me till she takes over the reins of my life. I wonder how long these gaps would continue to haunt me. I am certainly not in a hurry, I want to enjoy every entity that life throws my way, I want to enjoy the moments of withdrawl that her presence would bring into my life. To enjoy them to their full potential, I must bear the spasms of anger and frustration, I must quietly bear what happened a few moments ago, and I must quietly bear last night’s experiences. I cheer myself with the undying hope that she and Zeenat would prove to be worth all this and more, I hope my life is worth all this and more.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
THE ELIXIR OF MY LIFE
THE ELIXIR OF MY LIFE
My dear daughter,
I love you. There seem to be no other words to express my feelings for you. Language did come up as a facility for us when we wanted to express ourselves, but it also brought with itself the impediment that I cannot find words to express my feelings for you, language conceals the beauty of the universe in this manner. Language refuses to communicate my abstract thoughts as well as it portrays the concrete world. You have been a beautiful abstraction that has been in my heart from the time I came into the world. My world seems to be incomplete without you, you are the link that can complete the chain of my life, your thoughts are blessed with the magic of my life, my life seems to be covered with a mist when I am not thinking of you.
The mist over a large part of my life is now clear. It has given way to the real world, the real world is certainly nothing when compared to the world you live in. You have been living in the world of my dreams ever since my dreams became a part of my life. I often dream of the things that could not be transformed into a reality. These dreams form an important part of my past. My past stands out as nightmare that shall not loosen its hold over me unless you are with me. I badly want to shake off the burden of my past, I badly want you to be with me. Your company would work miracles in my life, my life is undergoing a transformation everyday, things would begin to change for the better once you are with me. You would be the catalyst that I would need to ignite the bundle of dreams that threaten to haunt me unless they are done away with as soon as possible. These dreams could not undergo the desired metamorphosis, they await their transformation into a reality even today.
Today I realise that these dreams were little more than a mirage in the desert. These dreams were merely agents to drive me to live another day in my life. Another dream was needed to splatter my life with colour. You stepped into my dreams to brighten my life with the colours of the rainbow. The universe around me becomes as vivid as my favourite colour when I think of you, and yet the transformation if the abstraction that you are into a physical reality threatens to shatter the beauty of the universe around me. The world around me thrives by virtue of your abstract thoughts. These abstract thoughts form an integral art of me, I cannot prevent myself from thinking of you.
You have been living in my heart for such a long time that I now feel that your abstract thoughts are far better than any concrete reality. I seem to be enamoured with your abstract concept. I once wished that the abstraction might one day turn into a reality, but with the passage of time, the wish has become stale. The passage of time makes everything stale, the only entity that remains fresh is life.
Life is so fresh that it does not accommodate anything stale, but your thoughts are endowed with the freshness of life. Thinking of you is such a beautiful experience that I don’t want to part with your thoughts, I don’t want the abstraction to be a reality. Your thoughts fill me with such zeal and enthusiasm that I want to do nothing but think of you.
Thinking of you is such an exciting experience that I am filled with the greatest ecstasy whenever I think of you. These are some of the most beautiful dreams that I dreamt of. These dreams form an integral part of the sublime moments of my life. The experience is so refreshing that I forget all my woes when I think of you. Your thoughts are the elixir of my life: they make my life live, I don’t want to part with your thoughts.
Your thoughts have such a strong hold over my destiny that my life seems to be entering a void as it emerges from your thoughts, and yet your presence is so demanding that I cannot imagine a life without you. You are the beginning of life within me, and you are the end of life within me. Life begins with you, and it ends with you.
Zeenat, you are the most beautiful abstraction that I ever created. The abstraction adds colour to my life. You are the only one who can transform my dull and serene life into a beautiful world; you are the creator of all that I beautiful in my world, you are the architect of my beautiful world.
My world is beautiful even with out you, I only fear that a change in the setup would prove detrimental to my world, your physical presence in my world would destroy the beauty of the moments that are passing by without you: your absence makes my world all the more beautiful. Your thoughts seem to provide the reason for the entire struggle in the world. Your presence would be the end of the entire struggle, it would be the end of my beautiful world.
My beautiful world is not devoid of sufferings, but I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to be a part of the real world because everyone in the real world has to suffer, I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to be a part of the world because I don’t want to lose the abstraction that forms you, I want to preserve your thoughts for eternity. I don’t want you to be a part of the real world because I love you.
My dear daughter,
I love you. There seem to be no other words to express my feelings for you. Language did come up as a facility for us when we wanted to express ourselves, but it also brought with itself the impediment that I cannot find words to express my feelings for you, language conceals the beauty of the universe in this manner. Language refuses to communicate my abstract thoughts as well as it portrays the concrete world. You have been a beautiful abstraction that has been in my heart from the time I came into the world. My world seems to be incomplete without you, you are the link that can complete the chain of my life, your thoughts are blessed with the magic of my life, my life seems to be covered with a mist when I am not thinking of you.
The mist over a large part of my life is now clear. It has given way to the real world, the real world is certainly nothing when compared to the world you live in. You have been living in the world of my dreams ever since my dreams became a part of my life. I often dream of the things that could not be transformed into a reality. These dreams form an important part of my past. My past stands out as nightmare that shall not loosen its hold over me unless you are with me. I badly want to shake off the burden of my past, I badly want you to be with me. Your company would work miracles in my life, my life is undergoing a transformation everyday, things would begin to change for the better once you are with me. You would be the catalyst that I would need to ignite the bundle of dreams that threaten to haunt me unless they are done away with as soon as possible. These dreams could not undergo the desired metamorphosis, they await their transformation into a reality even today.
Today I realise that these dreams were little more than a mirage in the desert. These dreams were merely agents to drive me to live another day in my life. Another dream was needed to splatter my life with colour. You stepped into my dreams to brighten my life with the colours of the rainbow. The universe around me becomes as vivid as my favourite colour when I think of you, and yet the transformation if the abstraction that you are into a physical reality threatens to shatter the beauty of the universe around me. The world around me thrives by virtue of your abstract thoughts. These abstract thoughts form an integral art of me, I cannot prevent myself from thinking of you.
You have been living in my heart for such a long time that I now feel that your abstract thoughts are far better than any concrete reality. I seem to be enamoured with your abstract concept. I once wished that the abstraction might one day turn into a reality, but with the passage of time, the wish has become stale. The passage of time makes everything stale, the only entity that remains fresh is life.
Life is so fresh that it does not accommodate anything stale, but your thoughts are endowed with the freshness of life. Thinking of you is such a beautiful experience that I don’t want to part with your thoughts, I don’t want the abstraction to be a reality. Your thoughts fill me with such zeal and enthusiasm that I want to do nothing but think of you.
Thinking of you is such an exciting experience that I am filled with the greatest ecstasy whenever I think of you. These are some of the most beautiful dreams that I dreamt of. These dreams form an integral part of the sublime moments of my life. The experience is so refreshing that I forget all my woes when I think of you. Your thoughts are the elixir of my life: they make my life live, I don’t want to part with your thoughts.
Your thoughts have such a strong hold over my destiny that my life seems to be entering a void as it emerges from your thoughts, and yet your presence is so demanding that I cannot imagine a life without you. You are the beginning of life within me, and you are the end of life within me. Life begins with you, and it ends with you.
Zeenat, you are the most beautiful abstraction that I ever created. The abstraction adds colour to my life. You are the only one who can transform my dull and serene life into a beautiful world; you are the creator of all that I beautiful in my world, you are the architect of my beautiful world.
My world is beautiful even with out you, I only fear that a change in the setup would prove detrimental to my world, your physical presence in my world would destroy the beauty of the moments that are passing by without you: your absence makes my world all the more beautiful. Your thoughts seem to provide the reason for the entire struggle in the world. Your presence would be the end of the entire struggle, it would be the end of my beautiful world.
My beautiful world is not devoid of sufferings, but I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to be a part of the real world because everyone in the real world has to suffer, I don’t want you to suffer. I don’t want you to be a part of the world because I don’t want to lose the abstraction that forms you, I want to preserve your thoughts for eternity. I don’t want you to be a part of the real world because I love you.
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