I’m Found Again And Again

I’m Found Again And Again
I wish there was a way possible to make myself disappear completely and never be found again. A problem with a disappearing act is that I can’t help being found again and again. Someone seems to be smart enough to find me every time I try to disappear, and like acne and pimples that every fair lady tries to get rid of, I make a formal reappearance from time to time. I simply can’t help it.



I want to disappear completely and permanently because there are many facets of life I don’t appreciate of. This is going to be an escapist’s view of life, I don’t want to run away from my problems, but somehow, I lack the arsenal required to fight the world on my own. I badly wish I had only a tiny bit of it with me, but somehow, I missed the last bus to the depot where it is distributed.



I wish I could rewind my life and stand in the first position in the queue this time. Being first in the queue is going to make it easier for me to be found, I know, I don’t want to be found, at least as easily as my prime position in the queue is going to make it, but at least I shall have all it is going to be required to fight the world. Moreover, I want to see the world from a different angle now. I wish the entire adventure would take a new shape and look for me.



The point is the queue is never going to be formed ever  again, I know. Even if it is formed again, it is going to lose the potency it has now. Several elements are to be added and deducted from it in the due course of time, and they shall certainly change all its values. Its incumbent values are going to be lost in the mist of time, and there shall be no point in standing in the same queue again. Since I can’t do anything to counter the vagaries of time,  I have to do my best to harness everything the queue can give me.



Standing in a queue has certainly taught me the values of patience and discipline. These and several other values of time that would never have found an honourable place within me had I not known what it is like to stand in a queue. A lot of strength and endurance is going to be required for the effort too, I know. The importance of being able to  stand on one’s feet for a long time requires one to be in good health too.



The queue has been a long one, it has been elongated beyond all levels, and standing in it has been beyond of my comfort, but I can never do anything about it. Standing here for a long time has brought me before extreme sun and rain. A consistent exposure to these and many more vagaries of nature has made me quite rough and tough. With time, I have conditioned myself to bear all these negativities of life.



My long itinerary and my prolonged affinity with the queue has pronounced its merits and potentials too. It has kept me away from several diversions and digressions that my peers and contemporaries have had to take. They haven’t been very comfortable for anyone, but in a small way, I’m grateful I wasn’t pushed on them. My path has been  customised to suit my exigencies, and I’m grateful for it.