This Journey Is Fun

 

This Journey Is Fun
I didn’t want to part ways with her on the note we did, but there wasn’t an option. A lot of explanations were to be made, I wish I had made everything clear to her when our disagreement reached its zenith, but I simply  couldn’t find the words to say it all in.  

 

There was so much to say and yet  all the words in a dictionary seemed to be insufficient to convey all I had to say. A disagreement, however petty, was certainly not what I looked forward to, particularly at the stage our relationship was. It was still a bud that was to blossom into a flower sooner or later.

 

We were out on a warpath over a trifling matter. It didn’t matter what the issue in question was, what mattered was that we were deflected in completely different directions because of it.  Both knew it was going to be a long time before both of us saw the ocean before us in the same     colour.

 

An ocean had always been blue, but both of us had to perceive the same tint. On second thoughts, we might as well drown in the ocean before us before this happened; the worst part of it was we didn’t have a lifeboat to save us. Without any shorelines or familiar landmarks to guide us, we were certainly headed for  a disaster.

 

Quite a heavy storm was rumbling around us as our lives went on, its echoes were louder than the bells that had rung in our hearts when we were introduced to each other only a few days ago.  Both of us were trembling with fear and apprehension  with the thought of what might have happened if we had given way to our emotions.

 

Both of us had been in the middle of a  storm when we were brought before each other; the incumbent moment was like a cool breeze in the mid of a storm. We were madly in love, but with different persons; our love-stories had simply screwed up.

 

Quite a bit of sunlight from the heavens had been obliterated by the clouds while these thoughts ran through our minds. Dark and heavy clouds had done their part very well.  Thunder and lightning added smoke to fire.

 

Regardless of the sonority of the sound of the rumbling clouds, I held her hand all the more tightly.  I was drowning in an ocean, and yet  I was parched with thirst for love. I held her hand all the more tightly.

 

I almost wished my grip could articulate all those words and even sentences there were to be said. It was a beautiful moment and I didn’t want to let her hand or the moment go.

 

I treasured it as a reward in exchange for all that I had been through. I quietly re-enacted a long chain of episodes, each one pathetic, tragical, and humorous at the same time that had been a  part of my recent past, but shrugged them off in a while.

 

They had been quite unpleasant, but life was moving on. I’d saw some greener pastures ahead if I had her as my companion; I felt sure the quarrel between us was only a slight patch of rough area. I knew I could leap over it like it were a puddle of water.

 

I felt myself in heaven while she was before me, but the dispute    between us was like a thick wall separating me from heaven. I badly wanted to bring the wall down. I wish I could run a bulldozer over it.

 

The very point of disagreement was a farce because it was only a few days ago that we had  been introduced to each other. We were yet to uncover all the  novelty  of our companionship; novelty has always had a thick veneer.

 

We had looked at a bright future that glittered with a golden glow.   The sun’s rays lingered for a while before plunging into the horizon. There wasn’t a way I could hold it while it was in the horizon.  

 

All the same, an ecstasy ran through me while she was with me, but it was bent on running away to the other side of the world when she left me.

 

Her company was like a ripple in a large pool of water, like a sudden movement in a stagnation. She had stepped into my curiously lonely life at a point when I was in love with someone else, I felt sure I was cheating on her while I held my betrothed’s hand.

 

 Anyway, I was dying to climb to the summit of a tower and look at a field where happiness lived.  

 

Quite a bit of gloom and solitude thrived at the tower’s base.  Something stronger than gravity held me down at its base. I had been soaking myself with quite a bit of misery and woe at its base, but I had now had enough of it.

 

 I wanted to be free of the guilt I had attached with being in such a place. The tower was accusing me of a sin I had not committed.

 

 I wasn’t responsible for the mess my life was in. My whole world was mourning a loss. Sobbing of the trees  beside the tower was expressively manifest. It had grown quite loud. I didn’t like it.

 

I badly wanted to dive into happiness’ own country and be there forever and a day. It was somewhere nearby, I knew it. I only have to jump off the tower.

 

This is the toughest proposition at the moment. My leap may as well land me in a heap of brambles and I might hurt myself  quite badly.

 

I suddenly lost acquaintance with my present. It was gone I a jiffy, without leaving an idea of my  past or future.

 

This is what happens when you are in love with the journey but at the same time scared of reaching a destination which you know is going to arrive sooner or later.