THE CATALYST FOR THE CHANGE

THE CATALYST FOR THE CHANGE

Her photograph was all the physical evidence I had of her existence. I wasn’t sure if it signified anyone special in my life. Looking at it was quite like my attempts at breaking the monotony of life by the sips of Pepsi I enjoy once in a while. The face in the photograph seemed to be looking straight at me; it wanted to say something to me: I wish I could give it all my ears. The eyes were quite livid with life; they wanted all my attention: I wish I could keep looking at them forever and a day. I wondered if the eyes would infuse a fresh gust of life in me.

Life’s adventures and misadventures had left me badly bruised and injured. They had managed to suck out all the fun and mirth from my life. They had left me looking at the world through a pair of glasses whose lenses had been badly stained with scratches. I was struggling against a fog that got even more dense as I moved on. The density of the fog would certainly go down with the passage of time, I was sure. Things would certainly get better, and she would be the catalyst for the changes time would usher into my life.

Time would continue to march over Rip Van Winkles insisting on the importance of embracing change and novelty in life. Time would certainly march over several Sleeping Beauties waiting for their princes. The face in the photograph could be my  Sleeping Beauty with her eyes open, and I might be the prince she had been waiting for. The ideal situation would have put many Sleeping Beauties before me, but this was not the ideal situation. Time had done its best to wreck havoc all over my life; all this had left me in a mess. I looked at the face for the tenth time as if to make sure she was still there. She might be the one appointed to clear all the mess in my life.

But I wasn’t sure if I wanted anyone, let alone the one in the photograph, to do it. I just might add some more weight to the bulk awaiting clearance in her case. I certainly didn’t want this to happen, I didn’t want to add dungeons to anyone’s woes. I didn’t want to drag anyone into the quagmire of suffering and uncertainty in my life. But I did want to be the agent behind all the smiles on the face in the photograph. I did wonder if I could supply all that was needed for those smiles.

The truth was that I didn’t have much of a choice. Orthodox Indian traditions seldom leave a choice, specially where matrimony is in question. My destiny was probably sealed with her for quite a long time to come. There would be an element of novelty that would merit some changes in our lives. I hope Rip Van Winkle helps both of us in adapting to the changes.