I Break The Glass

I Break The Glass

          I had inhaled quite a few breaths from a new atmosphere. The novelty had bee n separated from me by a thin sheet of glass. I could see the utopian world through the glass wall, but I couldn’t breathe in it till I broke the glass. I did break the glass, and I found myself with her.

          She had split the white light of my life into the seven colours of the rainbow over the past couple of years. While the light colours of the rainbow did bring some bright and happy moments, I almost with I could live through these moments again, the dark colours of the spectrum had pushed the pathos of my life to new depths.

My existence has been crippled by a ton of issues that have been a part of my life for quite a long time and they are to be a part of my life for as long as I live. She had done her best to tone down the effect of the fireballs that had come down from the skies above me and although I could do very little to help her in the task in many manner, I did hope to give her at least my company as we walked through the parts of our lives illuminated by the dark colours of the rainbow.

          I did feel bad about it. The trek over the last part of my life had not been easy. The road ahead  wasn’t going to be a bed of roses either. A large part of the problems came up largely because of my inability to do many things others can. I didn’t like it because I didn’t want her to suffer in any manner, and she had to suffer because she was a part of me. The strongest point was that I couldn’t do anything to fish her out of the predicament she found herself in.

          I had made it clear at the very outset that life with me is not going to be easy. She had accepted everything quite willingly. There was a typical Indianness in her: she had very little to do with the choice: she had simply agreed to go with her parent’s choice. They had evaluated mutual compatibility and not given weight to my disabilities.

          Our life over the past few  years had certainly not been a bed of roses but it had not been a bed of thorns either. Life had not been so bad after all. We had discovered tons of bliss and happiness in each other’s company. Being in each other’s company was all that was required to make us happy. Though the novelty of the situation had rubbed itself off a long time back, yet we appreciated and acknowledged Allah’s grace for giving us the gift of each other’s company. She didn’t seem to bother about my inability to do many things others can. She had accepted them as a part of our lives. She was the physical manifestation of all the wishes I’d made while making a circumference of the Kaaba in 2010.

          I wanted to give her all the worldly comforts and joys she deserved. She deserved to be treated like the queen of hearts she was. She deserved to be in a palace with all the modern amenities and facilities. I knew this and I wanted to give her all this and much more than she deserved. The realization of all that she deserved coupled with my inability to provide all the resources aggravated the realization that I’ve been pushed away from the crowd by Time.

          I feel bad when I realize someone else has to suffer because of my inability to do may things. But it certainly hasn’t been my fault. Considering all this from a different angle, we might never had met had I not been hounded by these issues. I wanted to ask her if she cursed her fate for being pushed into my company. Destiny had certainly pushed me to depths not touched by anyone else. But the past few years of association had proved that the seven colours of life are to be countered in the format life presents them in. at the end of the day, the light colours of the rainbow provide as much satisfaction and happiness as the dark colours do. It is largely a matter of perception.