I Want To Meet You Again

I Want To Meet You Again
It was only when it rained all night that I realised you have left. There was a loud rumbling of clouds; they pushed me into a deep pit every time they growled. The sky joined me in mourning your exit. We didn’t part on very good terms, I know, but it wasn’t that bad either. I wish I could tear out my heart to show you how much I love you; I still love you with all fervour and warmth, and I’ll continue loving you with an equal passion as long as I live.

I can’t do anything positive about your absence but  I never wanted to lose you if I could. I didn’t want you to go away to a distant place, or to any place other than where I can’t make my presence felt. I want to be with you for a long time, and a still longer time. I only want to hold your hand. It is irrelevant whether we discuss anything or not while we are together; your presence is all that counts. I have a firm mind never to leave your hand once I get a tight grip on it. a realisation of your absence has pushed me atop a pile of negative thoughts, but I’m glad I’m not alone in my misery: it has been raining cats and dogs for several days. The heavens have been mourning too. There can be no other reason for all these tears all these clouds have been showering on me for a long time.

Your absence has brought out many aspects of my life that were not clear before me till now. I discover deeper swamps full of self-pity and depression around me with every passing moment and I let myself sink into them every other moment because you are not a part of my world now. it makes very little difference to me whether I sink in a swamp or walk on solid ground. Your company is all that is relevant now.

Navigating through any of these swamps hasn’t been a pleasant experience. My feet yearn to tread on a firm ground, particularly the one that lies beneath your feet, but I can only sink deeper into all these swamps before me. The very sight of a level ground you tread on makes me realise you are better than me. I didn’t realise how important you have become for me and my happiness till you went away.  I guess this is how the importance of almost everything in life we take for granted is brought to the fore.

It didn’t take a long time for me to convince myself I’m in love with you; it remained concealed within many folds of my mind for a long time. It only had to be brought out, and your absence has done the trick.

I don’t doubt it now. Yes!! I love you.  I do wonder if this feeling can be called by any other name.  I wish I could spell all my feelings into some other words. I search for new words everyday and discover many ready to spill out, while many more prefer to remain behind veils. Yes!! I love you. These are the words ready to pop out whenever I think of you.

I simply long for your company. I want to be with you forever and a day. I yearn to paint my life with all colours of a rainbow whose colour-combination is a secret known only to you. it is quite a powerful one, one that can make many lives beautiful, I know. I’m glad you chose to splash my life with all these colours. I don’t know if I can equate myself with any of those I see canoodling on park-benches, but I can sit with you on a park-bench for my whole life holding your hand. I’ll let our hands do all the talking.

Our hands are believed to contain a record of our past experiences, while many believe they contain a hint of our future too. I don’t know if life has given you a set of experiences different from the ones it has given me. Let us begin with whatever we hold in common. I don’t know how  long they can keep us together, but it is going to be quite a long time. There is so much to say to you, and  I don’t have all the words required to bring out everything within me. I know you have a lot to say to me too. You have witnessed quite a few cycles of sunrise and sunset too, I know. Let us let the gaping silence between us right now begin with all the talking.

Silence speaks louder than words, it is said. Let us check out the veracity of these words. There is so much to talk of, and a lot more to discover within each other. Perhaps the silence between us can help us bring down walls created by verbosity of our pasts.

I want to spend my entire life with you yearning for yet another life to share a lot more. Somehow, I know this yearning in me for your company is going to vanish into thin air the moment you are with me. the truth is I only want to be with you for a long time. I only want to feel the warmth of your hand as it touches mine. I want to be happy because you are happy, and I know this is going to happen only when we are together. The duration of our company is not going  to be relevant when we are together, I know. Time is going to pause at this juncture, I know.

I really don’t want time to move away from a point where I hold your hand because it may bring me to a point where I may have to leave your hand. I don’t want to let go of an iota of whatever warmth I discover in your hand. It is destined to be toned down, I know. We are destined to part, I know, but before that we are destined to meet. I really don’t want to part ways with you, but I certainly want to meet you once again.

I want to meet you every single day of my life like it was the first time because each time we meet is going to bring with itself a typical freshness and novelty with itself. The feeling is going to fade into the ether sooner than I can imagine, but  I do want to experience the ecstasy again and again. This is the only way to capture even a bit of the novelty that threatens to run away as soon as it is discovered and found.

I hope we meet again and again.