I Moved On

I Moved On
I wanted to know what life has made exactly of her over the past few years while I had not seen her. I was a bit curious. Apparently, corrosion of only a few years had extracted quite a bit of life from her; I was grateful there was still a lot of her youth left in her. Relics of her past lay scattered about her as she stood before me with grace and resplendence of a queen before me. Quite a bit of it was written on her face as she stood before me, but I realised I wasn’t in a position to interpret any signs and signals in a form they were meant to be understood. I too had succumbed to a constant pressure laid by time:  I had changed quite a bit too.

She certainly was no longer a blank sheet of paper waiting to be scribbled on anymore. A lot had changed in her since we parted. She had been like a clear pool of water waiting for a stone to create ripples in it.  Apparently, she had been written all over by a variety of hands over the past many years. Not all of them had been congenial to her, it was apparent. I was merely another moron on my way to produce some more ugly blots on her. For a moment, she seemed exhilarated at my sight, but the excitement ebbed off sooner than I expected.

She has surely have lost her freshness, spontaneity, youth, and quite a bit more of her original self is off her as she stands before me today. I am aware that quite a long time has gone by since we last met and parted. I don’t know about her, but I had been in love with her at a point of time. She was once the queen of my heart. I was prepared to lay down my life for her; she was dearer than life to me once upon a time. She never gave any positive signals, but I merely clung to the hope that she might show some signs of being in love; she had never reciprocated my feelings, and I was in a quandary even today.

She had changed, it was obvious. I wish there was a way to know if I saw an inclination towards me while she stood before me. I can recall exchanging some furtive glances with her once upon a time, but I can never be sure if they spelt the same message as was in my eyes. Time has certainly pulled her up, it is obvious, it hasn’t been kind to her, but it hasn’t broken her up completely. Thankfully, I can see quite a bit of her original self when I look at her today.

She smiles at me today quite like she did when we were together, but today it was mixed with a lot of sorrow and dismay. They were some good days of my life when we were together, but like all good things in life, they went away. I wonder if such happy days are ever to be back again.

The sun rose in the east today too, but it brought a different set of feelings for me. I began to feel guilty of cheating on someone special in my life. She was someone even more special than who stood smiling before me today. Whatever I do, I can never converge these  two ladies into one. For a while, I was torn between them. I had seen such things happening in movies, I had doubted its veracity, but the situation was being enacted before me today in a pristine form. She was still smiling at me.

Her smile reminds me of the time we met for the first time. It didn’t rain, but her presence made the moment quite like a rendezvous with an angel. There is a hint of that angel today while she stands before me. Her smile had made each moment memorable, she gave me a similar smile today, it made the passing moments special today too.

Her smile reminded me of the ground’s smell when it has rained after a long dry spell. I’ve always associated the scent as something special and good whenever I have been exposed to it. I began to wonder if it was going to spell another good omen for me today. Typically, there is always too little of the scent when it rains, and whatever bit of it is here today, it is going to be insufficient to satiate me.  I wanted to stand there for an eternity while she smiled at me, but I corrected the course of my thoughts in a while. She smiles at me today too, but her smile is tinged with a bit of sourness today, a sourness of her past, a past from which I am excluded.

She had never been very attractive and good-looking, but her smile made her a queen of hearts. She is the same today, but I have discovered her secret now: her smile unravelled a lot of mysteries. I wish I had recorded all her secrets in a tangible form rather than preserving them in my memory. Quite a lot of them were losing their sheen and shine thanks to time. She is a part of me today, and I ought to be grateful for it. the moment may never come to life ever again.

From a past to a present and to a mysterious future, the distance was covered in merely a single leap. My imagination jumped over all hurdles without a second thought in a single bound; it now hovered in slow circles over her like a drone not sure where to land. There is a lot of information for the drone to collect before it can sketch its own version of love and beauty. She stood before me quite like a goddess of love incarnated in a pristine form before me.

I shook hands with her and moved on.