While I Held Her Hand

 While I Held Her Hand

She didn’t have the faintest idea of all the storms ravaging through me while she led the way to a distant corner of the park. There was a bench waiting for us, and I followed her through like a lamb. She appeared to be perfectly calm and quiet, but I felt sure she too trembled and shivered with excitement. I wish I had at least a basic knowledge of the secrets held in a woman’s heart. A thousand and one queries were revolving in my mind; I felt sure she couldn’t answer any of them.

 

We were strangers, brought together by my inclination for an evening-walk, and her affinity with flowers. She found a lot of them in the park, while there certainly was quite a bit of ground for walking in the park. She set a lot of puzzles and ciphers in my mind while she walked with me; I wanted to break away from her if only for a while, to collect myself. It wasn’t possible now. 

 

She wanted to walk with me in the park; I found it quite surprising, but it was true. We were walking along the gravel footpath. I had jumped into a well, and there wasn’t any way to come out of it till I was completely drenched in its waters.

 

They weren’t very cold or very hot; they were quite good to be in.  it was only for a short while I was to be in the waters, this is probably why it felt good. I was shivering in my pants  while I considered if I really wanted to dip into these waters for a while or remain immersed for a long time.

 

I walked along, for a long while I avoided looking at her as one avoids looking at the sun, but furtively looking her, as one does see the sun sometimes through the corner of one’s eyes. She had a fair complexion, and a tall stature. My heart was pounding with excitement and thrill. The moment hit me like a situation where results of a lottery were trickling in; I looked at my ticket-number with a bated breath. Beads of perspiration trickled down my neck; I knew she could see that I was nervous and excited at the same time.

 

I wondered if her heart too was throbbing as wildly as mine was. There wasn’t a way of knowing this. She didn’t show  any signs of excitement on her face. There was certainly a secret spiritual bond throbbing wildly between us. I wanted to grab her hand and hold it in mine for a longer  time, if only to make the bond stronger with each step we took. I felt sure the very contact was going to spill out all secrets trapped  in her heart. I wanted to dive deep into the ocean of secrets her heart was.

 

I was a bit surprised when she gave me her hand to hold, I grabbed at it, and we set off side by side, going faster and faster. The more rapidly we moved ,the more tightly she grasped my hand. I almost  broke into a run, I wished she would hold my hand a bit more tightly, but soon became conscious of the fact that there were quite a few eyes closely studying each and every move we made.

 

A delicious feeing of purity and freshness rushed through me all this while. I went through a catharsis I experience while in a mosque; I was walking out of the mosque. I had offered my namaaz, and I looked forward to the next time I was to be there.

 

Her company effected quite a few checks on several values and ideals I had in my mind. For a few minutes, she was better than the goddess of love, Aphrodite, I had visualised in my dreams. I was preparing to kiss the ground beneath her feet. I badly wished for some divine powers to bless her with eternal bliss and happiness.

 

I felt sure she was also happy while she held my hand, although she didn’t give any apparent signs: she was a perfect master of disguise. I did my best to completely immerse myself in the elixir flowing out of our communion.

 

It was dripping on the ground through a shower from the heavens while we walked along the gravel-footpath.  A  typical warmth flowed through her hand all this while; she  connected fantasy with reality while she held my hand.

 

She maintained an eloquent silence all the while, and so did I. None of us uttered a word, and yet we understood each other’s heart’s language quite well. A conversation was being conducted in a syntax of smiles and grins, the pattern was new.

 

Their sounds were louder than all the words that could ever be articulated using a loud-speaker. A lot more was to be said by both of us, although none of us had words enough to spell out all that went through our hearts.  I wish I could ask her if she understood the jargon of gestures.

 

The conversation couldn’t be carried on for a long time for we soon reached a bench in the park. It wasn’t really a long way off, but I wish the bench was a mile away and we could walk together holding hands for a longer time.

 

It was a blissful time when the children within us had died out, and we were stepping on the first few steps of youth. The track ahead glittered with a typical radiance emanating from our eyes.

 

Practically, we were strangers to each other. This was the first time I had held a feminine hand in mine with such passion. She was blushing all over and it made her all the more beautiful.

 

We went different ways in a while, but she left her typical warmth in my hand. I still think of her when I hold something in my hand for a long time.