A Matter Of Perception

A Matter Of Perception
I felt so sick in the stifling atmosphere of the room; I felt afraid of withering into a comfortless and colourless meaninglessness, and the most dismal part of it is I can’t do anything about it. There is a bright sun shining outside the walls of the room, I know. Bright sunlight did find itself through a couple of slits in the wall, and yet sunny days were not back. I felt it in my bones. A bit of magic did take place, and yet the rays of the sun were not warm enough to paint the dismal, crude and colourless and inferior imagery I had before me. It is going to be a long time for this to happen. But better days are always around the corner, one never knows.

A hope that our future is better than what has gone by in our lives is the hope that keeps all of us alive and kicking. This is what inspires us to pull in our next breath. The very thought that tomorrow is not going to be brighter than today is what dims the candle of life burning within all of us. The candle is supposed to burn in all hues and colours till the very last flicker it emits. There are a whole lot of musical instruments that resonate an orchestra within our beings creating all sorts of different sounds while this happens. This is exactly what makes us keep up our efforts for a better life. This is the arithmetic of success in the world we live in.

I haven’t been able to understand the logic behind the algebra that makes the world go around its axis. I perceive the world as an antagonistic being. This could be a false perception, but all said and done, I hope things get better in my life now. There has been a lot of turbulence in my life and it has certainly been in a varied form.

There has never been a consistency in any form. The only consistency has been that everything has been upside-down for me. This has raised several contentions within me and I have had to deal with them in the format they have been presented before me. I haven’t been able to change their format in any manner. I do wonder if everyone has to deal with similar contentions in one’s life. I wonder if everyone has to be a part of these contentions. Quite a few of them have been quite easy to deal with, but dealing with a majority of them has been quite trying. Thankfully, none of them have been beyond the potentials I hold to counter them. They have certainly served to extend my potentials to limits I haven’t ever dreamt of.

I wonder if this is merely to test my ability to stretch my potentials or is it simply to enable me to stretch my potentials. I certainly am in a better position as I once was now that several obstacles are a part of my history. I’ve learnt how to deal with these obstacles in a successful manner. Any encounters with similar problems in the future shall be countered effectively. I feel sure my future is to be full of many more problems that are going to be as or more intricate. I hope my experiences in dealing with the incumbent problems does help.

I wonder what happens in the normal course of events. I wonder if in the normal course, one is supposed to stretch one’s arms to touch the edge of a swimming-pool to win a race. I wonder if winning races is as important in the normal course of events. I wonder if swimming in them is as important; being a part of it, swimming between the two ends of a swimming-pool has been a consistent struggle for me, its intensity has made it irrelevant whether I win it or not. I don’t think one is required to stretch one’s arm to do so. The efforts one puts into the adventure of swimming sucks out all one’s energy, and it doesn’t leave one capable of enjoying one’s success, even if one wins.

I strongly feel the edge itself pulls itself nearer to the swimmer in the normal course of events. I envy all such cases where one doesn’t have to stretch one’s arm. On second thoughts, such people who have the edge of the swimming-pool pulled nearer aren’t helped in any manner in the task of swimming while in the pool. For them, the very task presents a huge challenge. Swimming across the pool is an arduous and tough task for a majority of them. Every stroke is fraught with danger and uncertainty. It isn’t a fulfilling and rewarding adventure as perceived by me.

Quite a few have to deal with quite a few aquatic and marine creatures while in the swimming-pool, and each one of them is bent upon tearing them to pieces. They have to deal with quite a few horrors and terrors. I’m sure quite a few of them are prepared to give up all they have if only they could enjoy the carefree life I enjoy.

I am jealous of their life, but I wonder if they are jealous of the life I enjoy. I don’t think the life I enjoy appears to be as good for them. This is probably because I myself don’t look at my life as fun and enjoy it in a manner that would appear good to them. The problem is that there is nothing in my life that is to be shown before the world. My life has not been exactly hidden behind curtains, but there hasn’t been anything to show-off either. All negative points ingrained within me have been hidden behind thick curtains, while I don’t think I have a lot of positive points to show to anyone. Well, this can be a matter of perception.