A Dive Deep Into Her Heart

 

A Dive Deep Into Her Heart
So great was her agitation in finding herself one of his family, and so fearful was she of doing something wrong, and of not being able to preserve everyone’s good opinion, that as the initial excitement cooled down, she almost wished she were home.

 

She felt quite like a queen in a game of chess who has moved over many squares into its opponent’s squares. She wanted to go back to the square she had been on when the game begun, but there wasn’t  a  way of effecting a return.

 

Life had changed in a second, and it was still changing.  She had to be with these people all her life, she had to adjust to their tastes, and it wasn’t going to be easy.

 

It was  a new life for her, everything was new, and the novelty struck her harder than an iron-rod would have hit her head. As a queen, she was to rule over her world, but she had to  carve out her own niche in the family first. It will be done in a few days, she felt sure.

 

Quite like the moves of a queen in a game of chess, she had to wade through my family with deliberation; she didn’t aim at being evil, but she had to find merit in the world around her.

 

It was only going to be some time before everyone around her shifted like different pieces in a game of chess, she was also going to move around, and the game was to be won. It wasn’t going to be very difficult, but it was certainly going to take some time.

 

 She thought of the mystery ahead, she felt sure of winning a lot of life’s games. She had moved on from being my good friend and an obedient daughter to being a good wife. Life had executed a lot of changes within her in a few moments besides her marital status.

 

 It had been quite like a push for her; someone had suddenly pushed her from the Alcama desert in Chile where absolutely nothing exists to a world full of happiness; she had moved over many squares of a chess-board in one go.

 

For a while, she thought of going back to square one. There was security and harmony where home was. Second thoughts convinced her that going back to the row she had left behind wasn’t worth the effort.

 

There were dangers lurking around there: it was under attack by a host of pawns of time. Her past was now gone and lost, she didn’t consider it good enough to be thought of twice. She had moved on.

 

The novelty of life’s new experiences like that of being a new member in a family was gradually fading into the ether, and so was her past. Her parents, relatives and all dreams she had seen in her celibacy were gradually fading into oblivion. The change was quite subtle and minute, and it took her heavy past away.

 

She was glad of it. All that had had a bright and garish texture once upon a time had now been replaced by different entities, each bound by a different glare. She began to wonder if it really was what she had been yearning for ever since.

 

 Anyway, all that was new in her life was quite different from what she had ever seen. At least everything had a different sheen now. She wasn’t sure if this was what she had bargained for, but all that counted was that  she was happy. She was happier than she had been ever before, and this was all that mattered.

 

The change hadn’t brought about an iota of deterioration in her happiness. In fact, she found herself on a higher pedestal than the one she had ever stood on. It was like she had won a football-match and was standing at the top of the podium.

 

 She didn’t feel bad about all the goals she couldn’t strike. The view from where she stood today was a lot better than where she would have been  had she scored all the goals she missed.

 

The ecstasy she found here eclipsed all sources of joy and even of sorrow that missed her. All the same,  she couldn’t have been standing at the point had she not left behind many values. What counted was that she was happier now than she had ever been before.

 

She wondered if the happiness she experienced was because of being where she was, or was it because she had moved on in life. What she had left behind wasn’t exactly bad, but it had begun to create  a dissonance within her with time.

 

 The dissonance had grown quite strong and it was getting stronger. It was a bit difficult to kiss goodbye to all that she once held close to herself, but the  dissonance  they had created within her had become so great that she didn’t have an option but to move on.  

 

Moving on had been quite tough for her initially,  she really didn’t want to leave everything to move on to a different and new station, but the affinities she had till now were gradually being rubbed off by a typical dissonance, she wasn’t left with a choice.

 

She was only to smile at all attractions she held till now like a grown-up looks at toys he or she used to play with in one’s infancy, and this included me!! Quite like her dolls, I too had ceased being an attraction a long time back. The attraction was stronger than earth’s gravitational force at a point of time.

 

She still smiles when she thinks of me. I jump with joy when I realise a typical flame still burns within her. On second thoughts, It doesn’t matter now. The flame had dimmed out when she moved on. All said and done, it isn’t enough to illuminate all gaps between us. A stronger beacon is required, I know.

 

Someone else will surely light it one day.