You Make Life Easier

 

You Make Life Easier
More than a thousand miles lie between us today, although the actual physical distance  between us can’t be more than a hundred kilometres. This seems to be a  space wider than that between infinity and whatever lies beyond it.

 

I don’t think it can ever be measured in positive terms. There is no unit of measurement for what I felt for you while we were together, and nothing can ever define my feelings now that you aren’t with me. I can’t believe it that we are not together any more. I wish I could crush all units of distance and make them bow down before me. I badly wish I could understand your reasons for effecting this separation. I feel so bad when I realise that our hearts have shaken themselves apart. How shall I live the rest of my life without you?

 

The climax had been slowly approaching me ever since, it was inevitable,  I know. There is nothing in the world that can sway the flow of destiny. There had to be an end to our furtive meetings, we couldn’t have gone on forever, we had to go different ways one day. I wish I had realised the gravity of the situation at an earlier time. It is quite tough for me to accept the reality as it is today. I wish I had not built up so many tumults of happiness around you. Exigencies of time didn’t leave a lot of options but to let all of them blow away when the first breeze blew.

 

I have to move on with time and move to greener pastures. They lie away from you. There are a whole lot of greener and better fields before me, they are waiting to embrace me with open-arms. They were what time and fate had destined for me, and I should embrace them, I know.  All the blame can’t be levied on time itself because I too didn’t want to stick to my present. I too wanted to move on, and the dissonance created by your going away made it a lot easier for me to move on.

 

A lot of dark and ominous clouds have been hovering over us for a long time. The air was getting quite stifling. There was a sudden dip in atmospheric pressure and it rained a while back. The sky was literally weeping, but the typical magic spelt out by rain while you were here was missing.  It was like a sunrise without the first beams of sunlight that change the whole world. You were the last drop of tear I had in my eyes. I don’t  weep any more. My eyes have run dry without any tears to shed.

 

This is not the only change that has entered my life. A lot has been  constantly changing  since we were together. My heart doesn’t beat with the same rhythm as it did while we were together. A drum has more blood in its beat than what is pumped out when my heart beats. My blood has not maintained its viscosity since we parted. These effects can now be seen in my eyes.

 

 My eyes seem to measure the distance between all consecutive points, if only to prove that it is shorter than that between us. The distance between us remains the same as it was when you left, but our hearts have now begun to drift apart. I am not really sorry for this change, you can be sure. A part of me wants this distance to be negated, but I can’t do anything positive about it. The distance between us increases like a rubber-band being stretched. I  wish I could keep you with me forever and a day.

 

There are hundreds and thousands of stars visible in the galaxy every night. They are separated by millions of light-years, and yet their separation appears to be minute and insignificant to those on earth. Stars spell out a different message by virtue of their separation. I only wonder what message can be spelt out of our separation.

 

I find myself separated from a part of myself the moment you and I parted ways. I really don’t know how many different pieces of myself are scattered around me today. Each piece wants to tell its own different story in its own particular way. Somehow, I know you too are scattered around yourself in a million pieces. While each piece yearns to tell its own story. Countless aeons of time between each of these pieces tear apart every day to increase the distance between us, the stories get longer and longer every single day, but the distance between us is never reduced.

 

The distance between us is so great now that I find it difficult even to think of you. Spatial distance is certainly proportional to the emotional distance between our hearts. Somehow, I know that the eyes I  kissed so fervently at a point of time don’t even have an idea of me in them now. All the same, I still hold your image in my eyes, although it is gradually fading. Brighter and more vibrant images are going to take its place. The present is a lot better than the past.

 

There was  a time when the present was all that counted. All the rest of my life appeared before me at a huge distance, and the distance made it all the more irrelevant and insignificant before the incumbent moment by your presence. This was when you were here with me. You yourself chose to go away, and it has made the distance longer.

 

Every beam of sunlight that falls on me reminds me of your presence in another part of this world. Somehow, I don’t feel so bad now. The same beams of sunlight remind me that there is the same sun all over the world, and it will continue to rise and shine whether you are a part of my world or not.