At The Top Of The World

At The Top Of The World
Dusk and sunset are at the feet of  a rainbow that has spanned its beauty over a comprehensive day. The day is now over; there is still a promise, there is hope despite the day being over; there is still some hope of the sun rising again. The incumbent day has certainly not been very pleasing; though a fresh morning has just gone by, yet a hard and fallow day has followed it, but thankfully, it is gradually getting old. The worst is over, or at least I hope it is over now.  

A deep unfathomable silence lies between the two of us. Each of us is struggling to find our way through it. There is a solid dark vacuum separating us; it suffocates and stifles me; it makes me mad. Time drifts silently with the silence of a miracle, and yet the long and lovely drowsiness of love continues to linger on with its sweet fragrance. I wonder if it will ever infect any of us; I hope it is going to change our lives whenever it  does bite us. Somehow, I feel it is wrong to harbor any expectations from any entity, but I certainly feel there should be some sort of a change in my life after all these years.

The rainbow that has been the order of the day has been certainly very bright and illuminating, but it has outlived its utility now. It served to provide some amount of variety in my dull and serene life. It is not that the sun has gone down and there can never be another rainbow in the sky again. Life shall certainly gain assets through what happens every day.

 The rainbow has been quite good, but all good things do come to an end one day. The novelty of the rainbow faded off a long time back. whatever values it gathered and dissipated over me over the past years have been quite good, but there is an incessant clamour within me for more of what I already have. I want the rainbow to provide better values than it has been giving me. In a small way, I’m glad it is being wrapped up in clutches of a dark night.

There is a typical dissatisfaction with what I have in my present, although I have many reasons to thank Allah. There has certainly been a spell of thunder, lightning and rain, there was a quiet lull after the storm, and there was a bright day too, but there is a typical dissatisfaction within me for all this now. I want more than what I already have. Practically, this dissatisfaction is what makes all of us make efforts for a better future. I badly want to tear the gossamer fabric of my present and rush into my future. The fabric is certainly quite thin and delicate, but it does create  an impenetrable and opaque barrier. I badly want to see what my future looks like. I want at least a glimpse of my future. Whatever visions I have of my future are so blurred and dimmed in nature that I can hardly hold on to them for a long time. I need a stronger anchor to hold on to.

My future appears to be darker than my present, but this is probably because my future isn’t properly illuminated. There may be a brighter and better world awaiting me if I manage to pierce the fabric surrounding my present. What ails me is the firm belief that my future may not be bright at all. Even if it is only a shade brighter than my present, I do wonder if it is going to be worth any efforts I make to get to it. The ameliorated tint may prove not to be good for me at all.

The very fact that the future that lies before me is uncertain is what makes life all the more tough and difficult for me. there are several turns in the road before me, but only one of them is likely to take me to my goal. I wish I knew which one it is. I shall have to keep walking for a long time, this is all I know for sure.

I strongly feel the road to my goal has only been elongated and lengthened to what seems to be beyond my limits, but I must bear the fact in mind that although some roads may appear to be too long and unconquerable, I’m certainly going to make it to my goal one day. All roads have been set out in such a fashion that they can be traversed and covered by me. none of them are longer than any length I can walk across. Moreover, all obstacles put before me on these tracks are such that they can be easily jumped over by me.

This is the only consolation I have. I can only hope this is not a false one. Practically, I can never do anything if my walk on  any of the roads is an endless one or even if a road before me lead to a dead-end.  I can only grumble and complain, but I shall be expressing my thanklessness to The Almighty if I do this. I shall have to bear whatever comes my way with a brave face, and I shall have to apply some cosmetics to my face to make it appear the way I want it to. I shall have  to resort to some acting-skills I shall have to learn in a few days.

Good actors are the ones who manage to succeed in life. Excellent actors are the ones who make it to the top of the world. Perhaps it the top of the world is only a matter of my perception. I am already at the top of my world while I am with her. The sweet tinge of love in the air today while we are together is probably what the world was created for.