A Smile Changes My World

A Smile Changes My World
summers seem to be quite late this year. Holi marks the onset of summers in North India, but Holi falls on quite a late date in March. Meanwhile, the weather has taken a turn for being quite good. It is quite cool and nice. The delayed onset of summer season isn’t of a lot of consequence now. It is going to be quite hot and dry in a few weeks. I shall yearn for  a cool and quite weather like the what is the order of the day now, I know.



I don’t want the weather to change at all. I don’t want anything to change. I feel like a pessimist who doesn’t believe in a good future, or any future at all. I feel tomorrow will bring an antagonist ready to wage a war against all I have today. I have a fear of time robbing me of all I have with me today. I don’t have a lot today, but whatever I have is going to be robbed tomorrow. Tomorrow isn’t going to be anything like today. It is going to be deficient in many different ways, I know.



I don’t want to march ahead at all because I don’t want to counter the vagaries my future is going to bring with itself. I strongly feel my future is not going to be any better than my present or my past. But I don’t want to  remain where I  am standing today. But there is a growing dissonance against where I stand as of now, but I know I shall be pushed on, or I shall make at the very least a small move.



I really want to get rid of my past and present now, but I don’t want to move on to my future. I feel afraid of it. There are all chances of it being as much steeped in mire as my past and my present are. There is certainly a remote chance of it being better than these two entities, but considering the potential time has had of  wrecking havoc on my existence in my past and present, the chance of my future being any better is quite bleak.



There is always a possibility of my future being wrapped up in muck and grit. I shall certainly not like it when it is presented to me every now and then like a birthday-gift. I shall not have a choice but to accept with a smile on my face. Its ugly face is going to be wrapped-up in all kinds of decorative cartoon-characters and legends to make it appear attractive. I shall be fooled into accepting it with a smile, I know. No one is smart enough to see through all the camouflage put up.



My future isn’t going to be any better than my present, but I won’t have a choice but to accept what happens with me in the days to come. I shall have to accept it in its pristine form because I won’t have a choice. It is only my acceptance and my willingness to accept my fate that is going to give me courage to bear through everything life has in store for me. I shall need all the courage and endurance to bear through my future.



I can only hope my future is  a bit better than my past if it is not any better than my present. It is certainly going to be a bit better if I embraced it with a smile. I smile as I cross a threshold every day.