Zeenat: A Road To Heaven

Zeenat: A Road To Heaven
Thinking of Zeenat makes me feel in heaven. I’m often petrified by the way in which circumstances are presented before me over the day,  but thinking of her assures me everything is going to be alright and life is going to be normal for me. The problem begins when I realise how difficult it is to compare my life with anyone else’s. when I think of it, none of these normal people think of Zeenat. They don’t have to.



I feel I shifted out of a normal pattern of life a long time back. Only  Zeenat's thoughts have the potential to propel me back to a normal life. I do wonder if Zeenat is going to be another normal child, or if she is going to be special in some way. I hope not.



 I wonder what life will be like when she is finally a part of this mad, bad world. She isn’t going to be another responsibility heaped on me to add to the heap I shall have. I sometimes wonder if she deserves to be made a part of this contemporary world, and if I hold potentials required to change it as per her preferences. I shall have to do my best to change my contemporary world to suit her whims and fancies. Her cries are to keep growing louder every single day with every single puff of breath she takes in. I shall have to transform myself to satiate all her needs.



 She deserves something better than this world. This world is where one’s heart keeps wishing for more and more of whatever one gets. In a small way, this is what pushes us towards progress, but this is what leads to disasters too. I hope she discovers how she is going to balance her wishes a long time before I learnt to tune mine.



She deserves to be in a better world than the world I live in. This world is full of deceit, deception and all sorts of felony. She doesn’t deserve to be a part of any of this. She deserves to  be in in a world where there is no sorrow, no wishes, and no means to fulfil them; it is to be a paradise where there isn’t an iota of grief. I don’t think she deserves to be a part of this world.



Sometimes, I badly wish I could kiss her tiny hands and feet. She is the sweetest baby I’ve ever beheld, albeit in my dreams. I don’t think I want to see a sweeter form of infancy after her. I don’t want to dream anymore; I don’t want to sleep anymore. I want to wake up and see all the crude and ugly forms and shapes world presents itself in every day before everyone. Her real form is the ultimate definition of beauty and innocence for me. The one in my dreams is a lot better than what I hold in my dreams, but there is a sharp difference between these two worlds. I learnt to appreciate the contrast a long time back.



I see several babies around myself every day, but somehow, I know Zeenat is going to be a lot better than any of them. A sharp difference between them and Zeenat is that I can and I do kiss their hands. All said and done, Zeenat stands out as a winner in all baby-shows organised in my world. There simply aren’t any other contestants in my world. She is simply the best. There can never be any doubt of it.