Your Smile

Your Smile
A bit of water on the roads was a reminder of a few drops of rain that had blessed the earth last night. A thin sheet of water was still present on the road when I woke up.  Everything around was reflected in the mirror created by nature. A lot of my past lay there on the road before me too beside cars and rickshaws, but I could do little more than look at it.

Quite a few ripples appeared on its surface while a strong breeze blew over it. There was her sweet face reflected on the water on the ground, but details of our separation were more clearly written on it. I didn’t want to look at any of it, but I wasn’t given a choice.

Life has seldom given me a lot of options to choose from. There have only been a few intricate algebraic equations before me. I still am not sure what made me opt for equations that were completely inexplicable. I should have opted for some easier ones, but as it is, I didn’t. I badly wish I could go back to my past and make a choice again.

I didn’t want to look at even a reflection of my past now that it was all gone and over. There hasn’t been anything really very good about it; I really want to forget all about my past now. I want to move on, but I have to look at it reflected on the ground before me today. Life has given me such a huge bit of its merits in all forms every day that I have to look upon my past as effective gradations that have led to the present situation.

I have been a witness to so many events in my past and so many people in my past who have contributed to my present, and almost all of them are reflected on the water on the ground before me. There are some people I want to cherish, but there are also several people I want to obliterate from my mind in a comprehensive manner. Like the bad fish that make the entire pond dirty, these people have corrupted my memoirs. I badly want to forget all about my past. I want to move on to a future that has different people and different problems in it.

On second thoughts, I don’t think I would like to move on to a future that might have an equally intricate and dense pattern of problems in store for me. I’m simply terrified by the mere thoughts of having to face any sort of problems in my future. I shall have to be before some problems in future, I know. There is no way I can escape from any of them.

The only point of merit is I know a lot of solutions now, but I shall be before some entirely new problems, I know. The only difference is that they are going to be before me in an entirely new and different atmosphere now. Life is going to go aboard a new platform now, where there shall be a lot of   fresh problems every single day, like there have always been. The novelty is going to tone down their severity a bit, but it too is going to fade off in a few days.

A solution to my problems boils down to the fact that I shouldn’t have any more bad dreams. A simpler solution to this is never to go to sleep. But this is going to make my life all the more difficult.

I want to live my life like a king. I want to dream of being a king even if I can’t be one.

Only a smile from her shall be enough to change my world, and I know she will smile at me for a long time.