A Constellation Predicts My Future

A Constellation Predicts My Future
For a while, I did wonder if there was anything worthwhile in the fact that we were on the verge of breaking a relationship. We had not been together for  a short  time, and yet it seemed we had spent an eternity together. This is one of the best parts of spending quality time with someone you love: a few moments of company spell out to be an eternity by virtue of their passing by without much ado. There had always been the vociferousness of a loud silence between the two of us while we were together, and love had added a lot of noise to the gap between us. Now, time had brought us to the point where we had to part ways.

The best aspect about the impending break-up was that it didn’t involve breaking any special bonds of any sort between the two of us. We were certainly more than mere acquaintances, but I had taken care not to form any special bonds. Breaking up wasn’t going to be as much an ordeal for her as it would have been had she formed any bonds with me. I have been through several such ordeals in my life where bonds have been ruthlessly broken, and I know how painful it can get.

We had to break apart. Nothing is permanent in the world. The bond we had formed for a while followed the dictum too, and it wasn’t going to be very difficult for her. Had I let the bond assume a permanent nature, it would have been a different case. It would have taken a lot more effort on my part and on her part too to break a permanent bond; I broke it while it was a temporary one, and I’m glad I chose to clean the walls of my life while the paint was yet to dry. Had both of us spent a few more days in the false bliss that there was a good future to our company, it would have become quite difficult for her to come out of the trance she would have pushed herself into.

I had to do it. I didn’t have any option. I couldn’t violate the diktats of the society we live in. I don’t have such a temperament that I can revolt against the dominant mindset of the society for the sake of someone I love. Our bond was very little more than another infatuation for me, though I had a fair idea the depths of her heart I had managed to plunge in the short time. Platonic love is too small an emotion for me; it isn’t worth breaking any of the other bonds I had committed myself to. Cementing the bond would have meant breaking many of them, and I don’t have the courage.

I lack the courage, I repeat. Practically, I like doing things the easy way. I don’t like intricacies and complications in life, particularly when quite a bit of my life has already unfolded itself in quite a logical manner before me. I do wonder how my peers and contemporaries find the courage to revolt against the dominant mindset of the society.

I often wish I was as strong as they are. Life would have been quite different for me had I been strong like them. I do wonder if they are really as happy as they seem to be. They have won some important battles in their life, but I feel winning battles is not all that is important in life. Everyone would have been born with armour and a lampoon had it been that important. Winning the war of life is more important, and luckily, most of us have all the arsenal required to fight it out.

I couldn’t do anything except watch her marriage procession pass by like it was the funeral of our relationship; the only difference was that everyone in the funeral was happy. There were a hundred-and-one stars in the firmament that night, I’m sure all of them symbolised different successful relationships in different parts of the world. All of them were shining quite brightly and gaily; they were twinkling in the sky as if they were teasing me with their glitter. For a while, I did wonder if they were really better than me in any manner. Quite a few stars and constellations were to fade into ignominy that night, I knew. They formed some important landmarks in the sky, but sailors were going to have to find their way across the oceans using other signs now.

I had lost a battle, but there was the war of life still to be fought on my own terms, and it had to be won at all costs. Winning the battle seemed to be the most important part of my life while I was a crusader fighting the battle, but now I realise winning the war of life is a bigger and more important challenge. The challenge before me is more important for me than any of the challenges faced by anyone else in the world. The war is to be fought without using any gunpowder or even guns, but I hope I shall win the war like everyone else does.

There are a whole lot of people in the world, and everyone has his or her own set of aspirations and desires. Someone wants to touch stars, while someone wants to plunge the depth of oceans. These aspirations and abilities are always at loggerheads with one’s abilities. I find myself looking at the stars symbolizing our relationship every day. I wonder if I had the potential to reach out to the stars when I looked at them the first time. They are a bit different from the crowd, and they form a constellation different from the other constellations. They predict a future different from the one predicted by other constellations for everyone else.

I hope I get to see a constellation someday that shall have all the stars that predict a good future for me and I can reach out to the stars easily.