Walking Through Dense Forests

Walking Through Dense Forests
It is something like coming out of a dense forest after being in it for a long time. There was a green canopy above me for a long time, but it had long since outlived its utility; I don’t want a green canopy above me now. The shade provided by the trees in the forest did provide some amount of relief from the ultraviolet radiation dissipated by direct sunlight, a part of which found its way through the dense vegetation, but I didn’t want the protection now.

I wanted to be free from all kinds of protective elements in my life. The walk through the forest has been quite a smooth one thanks to the protection provided by the dense vegetation around me. It was quite a pleasant walk while I was walking through the forest, but the walk over the past few aeons of time had become quite uncomfortable. The time seems to be quite long because my being uncomfortable.

The feeling of being uncomfortable has gathered pace within me because I have been treated in a bit different manner by fate itself. In the ideal case, the feeling of being uncomfortable imitates a dissonance for all the zones of comfort around me in the form of green vegetation and it propels a wish to be in clear sunlight as soon as possible. It couldn’t have the desired effects within me.

Being in the sun at the earliest was what I was out for. This was the basic purpose of my walk through the forest, but I failed to comprehend the importance of sunlight in my life. At the same time, I don’t think I could have hastened my steps to get out of the forest vegetation in time even if I had wanted to, but I certainly wouldn’t have been so far behind everyone in the trail. I console myself with the belief that my being behind the rest of my peers was a part of my destiny, something inscribed into my fate long before the world came into existence.

I could never have done anything concrete about my long itinerary in the forest. The time for my being in the sun was fixed several millions of years in advance, even before I was born. The frustration I feel of lagging behind everyone is also a part of my fate, something that has been decided in advance.

I feel very bad when I think of the way my fate has dealt with me. It would have been a lot better had I taken some of the turns in the road while I could, but I continued to march on ignoring the turns. I wish I had opted for the turns in the road at the right time, and had not ignored them. The diversions I took instead in the form of the road I walked on were very good while the novelty lasted, but the monotonous drag of even a prolonged exposure to the best roads in life leads to development of an ennui.

I wonder if the ennui that has developed within me has been a part of my fate. This might be a way to propel me to make some efforts for getting rid of the feeling of dissatisfaction. I’m aware of my inability to do anything worthwhile to get rid of the feeling of dissatisfaction. This is what makes the situation all the more impotent for me.

I badly wish I could go back in time and rectify all the issues that went wrong. I wish I could rectify my path over the track I have been walking. I wish there was some way I could take all the turns in the road I failed to take at the right time. I wish I could alter the time for taking the turns in the road. I wish I could take the turns in the road now.

My world would certainly have been a lot different had I taken all the turns in the road at the appropriate time. I should have been a part of the crowd and not have opted to be out of the crowd. This was a capital mistake I made. This has proved to be the biggest mistake of my life. I should have followed the herd wherever it went, I should have done a lot of  things, but I couldn’t do anything.

My inability to do anything positive to save myself may be viewed in a positive light by me in an esoteric manner. There has certainly been a dense forest around me which has shielded me from the harsh rays of the sun, but it has kept me away from any sunburns or even a slight tan developing on my skin. While my peers have had to bear the sun’s wrath in all its intensity, I haven’t had to do anything to shield myself from the sun. Thankfully,there has been a green canopy around me.

I’m grateful for the presence of the canopy over myself. Those out in the sun are in a better position to appreciate the additional protection over my head. The point everyone has to bear in mind is that fate has not dealt the same cards to me as it has dealt to everyone else. fate has pushed everyone else in the company of success, while I have met a lot of failures in life. The difference has been highlighted quite sharply where I have been struggling for a bit of success, fame and glory in the game of life. Those with different priorities in life are way ahead of me. The difference has been brought out quite clearly considering my slow progress through the dense forest. Everyone has rushed ahead.

All the same, I’m glad I came out of the forest now. But another dense forest stands before me to be crossed. It might be even more dense and thick than the one I have already crossed, I can never know. I hope I come out of this one soon.