Reaching The Goal

Reaching The Goal
There are no answers to any of my questions. She stands before me with a lot of answers in her mind, but none fall into the slots created by the questions racing thr4ough my mind. My mind raises a lot of questions and all of them need instant answers. There is a dense fog separating us, and it has to be cleared before any of my questions can be answered. The fog has to be cleared instantly, because this is the only way to effect instant answers. It is to be a long time before the fog dissipates in totality, I know, and I can only hope the fog fades into the ether gradually. I have to wait, and there is only patience that is to be invested to build up our future.

Our future can shoot into a bright world if we manage to build up our own typical route to happiness. I’ve to be very careful about maintaining a sharp distinction between the routes to happiness we are to follow and the ones others have followed. There is a crystal clear difference between me and any of my peers and contemporaries, the difference has become obvious to me now. I should have realised it a long time back, but I failed to realise the way I am different from everyone else.

The differences in my case are not like a wall separating two rooms of a house, but they are quite like the thin air that lies between two people standing in the same room. The routes to happiness we are to tread on are to be of a different kind as compared to the one followed by any of our peers. The lady standing before me is going to have to walk on the different routes to happiness with me. We are to walk into a world completely different from that into which any of our peers or contemporaries have walked into, but the walk has to have a difference from anyone else’s walk.

There is to be no point in effecting a comparison between our state of happiness and what everyone else has found walking on different tracks. It is a completely different world that lies in store for me when I shall get to the other end of the road. Everyone has found a completely different world on completion of their journey. I feel the gravity of the difference to be all the more strong because I feel I have felt more heat and steam than anyone else has. The world others are in certainly has a lot of sunlight, but the warmth and comfort of light in their world is negated by cold winds that manage to pierce through their being, and they can’t do anything about it.

The world I shall walk into shall have bright sunlight without the cold winds. There shall be a warm and congenial atmosphere, and it shall have everything conditioned and attuned to me and my personality. If I walk into the alleged happy world I perceive others to be in, I might find a lot of warmth and heat coupled with a lot of clouds that can make the atmosphere uncomfortable and stuffy. I hope I am in a position to thank my stars for the different route that brought me to a world different from the one everyone else is in. all the same, I feel a different route has been quite a long one, and it has led to an inadvertent delay in reaching the end everyone has already touched. I also wonder if reaching the end is as important or if the timing is as important.

I wonder if those already at the end are really happy. In reality, there is no happiness to be found in the world. It is only a longer road I have had to walk on, and I sometimes curse the hand that pushed me on a different route. Had I maintained a normal pace on a normal route, I may have already been at the end, but I was pushed on to the longer diversion. My feet are not strong enough to bear the strain of walking the extra mile I had to while I walked on the different track. The diversion did save me from a lot of ugly sights, crests and troughs, but I sometimes feel I feel it to be unfair on the part of my destiny to have pushed me on the diversion.

I wish I had not walked on the different track. I wish I had chosen to do what everyone does, and I had perceived the world in a similar way as my peers do. The difference in perception has been the prime reason for dominance of so many questions I hold in my head today, which are again different from the questions everyone normally holds.

I wish I had a normal set of questions in my mind, and had a normal life. The divergence from everyone else has brought some merits for me, but I wish there wasn’t a difference. I may have been standing at the proverbial end of the journey by now. I'm not sure if the merits outweigh the differences, but I wish there were no differences.

I might reach a different end, and the difference is to be the reward. I do wonder if I should be happy with the reward I get. There is a tendency to look upon the merits others have, and look down upon at all that I don’t have. Well, I hope reaching a different goal is good enough to dispel this feeling from me. I know the key to satisfaction lies in paying attention to those who don’t have all the merits I have, but this is also a way to deny progress in any way.

Let us see where I end up.