Capturing Some Beautiful Thoughts In Words

Capturing Some Beautiful Thoughts In Words
There was a soul shattering silence around me that night. The night had come after a lot of deliberation, and I didn’t want it to fade off into ignominy without my doing anything worthwhile to arrest its beauty in a concrete form. The crux of the matter was that there was very little I could possibly have done to capture its beauty of the passing moments except to make myself happy.

The dilemma began with my wish to capture the essence of the day and all the warmth it that it had brought with itself. It wasn’t going to be a part of my life ever again.  I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. I didn’t want the day to fade into the night although I knew the night was going to bring some of the most beautiful moments of my life with itself, which may be better than the ones fleeting by.

There had been so many days in my life, but somehow, I knew that the one before me was going to be different. The difference wasn’t going to be a part of my life again; this is what made the day so special in my life. There were so many storms brewing in my heart; the sky in my heart was covered with dark clouds; they created a dark and sinister aura around me, and yet there was a bright sun shining in my heart pronouncing my presence ever so loudly.

There was a marked difference in the way the day began, I was a bit happier that day. There wasn’t a smile on my face, I was aware of the tons of responsibilities that were to come my way by virtue of the event to be observed late that night. Quite a bit of it had been rehearsed in many different ways in the past few hours, and yet there was a sense of anxiety one feels when one has worked hard for the examinations, and has even cleared the preliminary tests. There is still the final exam to be given. I know I shall clear the final exam too, but my heart has been thumping quite loudly.

Practically, there is no end to tests and exams I shall have to give. The alleged final exam tonight is only going to be a preliminary exam before I shall give many more exams in my life. It is only that the preliminary tests before the final exam have appeared to be so tough that I feared giving even the preliminary tests. The preliminary tests were made quite tough for me, but I was not left with an option but to give my best to clear the preliminary test; I don’t have an option but to clear even the final exams.

Life has never given me a lot of options at this end. I have no choice but to appear for the final exam tonight. All roads to an honourable exit are now blocked. There is simply no way out of the situation. There is a typical angst within me which is toned down by an anticipation of the excitement I shall encounter if I clear the final exam scheduled for later in the night.

For a while, I did wonder if the excitement I am to encounter is worth giving all the exams I have had to. I have had to clear many exams in my life before I could reach the present stage, and I shall have to clear many more exams in my life. Somehow I know they may even be a lot more tough and difficult. Practically, there is very little that has been easy and smooth in my life. Even the road to the present stage has been ridden with pot-holes and speed-breakers. They have done their best to hold me back from reaching a definite destination, but I am being pushed towards the destination now.

My inability to reach a definite destination by myself is why I’m being pushed to the end. Everyone else is already at the end. I remain the only one who has not been able to touch the goal. This has been primarily because of a couple of hitches and glitches that I have had to encounter along the way. Practically, there hasn’t been a dearth of adversities in my life. There is a long way to go after this frontier is crossed, and the road is not going to be easy in any way. I can see the end and even beyond it, but this is one of the most critical parts of the situation.

There are bound to be a lot of bumps and bruises to be faced by everyone who walks beyond the first frontier. I really don’t know if I am ready to face all that is to come my way. I’m not sure of what sort of preparation that should be done before I face the ups and downs of life I am to face once I am beyond the frontier before me.

There doesn’t seem to be a way to learn anything about all that I am to face. Everyone faces a novel and new experience, and I’m sure life is to put up a couple of solid barriers before me at every stage just as it has at every stage, and each barrier shall be of a different kind from the one everyone else has had to face.

I revere all those who have already crossed so many barriers in their life. Thankfully, I haven’t had to face all the barriers that have been faced by my peers till now. There have been some different kind of barriers in my life, and the difference collates with the different route my life has had to follow. I sometimes wonder if I ought to be grateful to Allah for crafting a different route for me that has pushed me apart from my peers, or should I curse my fate for the fact that I shall be the last to touch the destination thanks to the different route crafted for me. The destination is quite far off, it is not visible to me as of now. What is visible are the impediments along the way; leaping over them without getting hurt in any way is more important for me than getting to the destination in  a paralysed position. The problem at hand should be dealt with tactfully and it should be done well.

The problem before me is of capturing the beauty of the moments passing by. This should not be a  big problem considering the gift I have of using words to capture time. I hope my attempts remain unmatched and unparalleled for a long time.

Aameen.