The Voids In My Life

The Voids In My Life
My heart has been yearning and pining for company that is to give me some amount of pleasure and satisfaction of a typical kind for a long time. There is a maddening desire within me to be a part of a complete whole; I badly wish someone would proceed to fill in all the gaps left over in me over the course of several years of my existence. I badly wish I had someone who was able to tell me the importance of being a part of the whole at the right time.

I wish I had paid heed to all the signals life was giving me, but something went wrong. I could not grasp the signals in the appropriate format, I should have followed the path all of my peers went over, but there was a typical essence in the route I was walking on that kept me away from the path I should have walked on.

I should have ignored the sweet essence on the track I was trekking on and moved on the track everyone follows. The feeling of loneliness and incompleteness within me would not have been a dominating factor in my life today. I regret not filling in all gaps or at least some of them at the appropriate time. My life would have been different had the gaps been filled in at the appropriate time.

Today, there are huge gaps left all over my life: there are no answers to most of the  questions that run through my mind. The voids are becoming bigger and bigger as the days go by. The questions are being pronounced louder and louder just as the voids are getting bigger and bigger as  time passes by. There is no way I can pause the onslaught of time, and make the voids at least remain in the shape they once were.

There have been lot of garbage trucks ready to fill in the pits with garbage and rubbish, but I’m not prepared to fill in my life with garbage. I want something more concrete. The garbage will be as good as anything else to fill in the voids, but at the end of the day, it is going to be a lot of garbage, and nothing else. I certainly don’t want my life to be a pile of garbage.

I deserve something better than garbage. I want the pits to be filled in with something special. My life should be decorated with larger-than-life-caricatures of my past and my future. My past and future shall become larger than the issues hounding my life at present. I don’t want my past and future to become an issue worth pondering on. it is only going to keep me away from the current crisis. The caricatures need to be sketched and re-sketched with expertise. The pits need to be filled in with love over and over again.

a bright aura needs to be created within the deep and dark pits by the flow of time; only love can brighten up the dark avenues of my life; the four lettered word has the powers to make a dull and dismal life in hell feel like being in heaven. It can bring heaven to a lower level; it can make an entry into paradise a lot easier. The pits need to be brightened up. Entering paradise is going to be a lot easy when they are bright.

I do wonder if entering paradise is all that important. I have had to go through a lot of thick and thin in life to get to the point where I can enter the paradise. I do wish I could ask my fate if entering the paradise were so important, why wasn’t I pushed into it a long time back. I have had to face a lot of turmoil and tension because I have been the last to find myself pushed into the alleged paradise. I do wonder if it is as glorious as it is made to appear.

I don’t think any place can be as glorious as the heavens I have been through. I don’t think there can be a greater joy in life than the ones I have been through. I don’t think life can ever be any easier for me than it once was. It is only likely to get a lot tougher and tougher. I strongly believe there is no end to the hardships one can find in life just as there is no end to the amount of happiness one can find in the world.

If there is an end to the joy one can find in life, there is certainly an end to the grief one can find in life. Life is full of discoveries to be made every single day, and what one discovers the next moment is always a surprise. The spontaneity of life is what makes it all the more exciting and fun. However, the surprise is going to be appreciated if only it is going to bring joy and happiness.

All the voids in my life are going to be filled in one day, but their exact constituent is going to be a surprise for me. Life fills in voids in everyone’s life with its magic wand of spontaneity, making itself all the more exciting and fun. I hope there is a lot of fun and excitement filled in by life when it proceeds to fill in the voids created by life itself.