Quality Of Life

Quality Of Life
There were a lot of sinister secrets buried in her eyes that couldn’t look up to mine. I paused for a while at the new threshold of life, I needed a moment’s break before I peered closely into her eyes. I needed to collect all my experiences and forget all my past now. My eyes had even more ominous secrets buried in them. I had had the occasion of looking into many more pairs of eyes, but I couldn’t look into any at such close quarters to discover all secrets buried within; a sharp and yet hazy vision of our marital life fell before me like a shutter that blocked out all my past.

This was a point where  I was going to forget all about my past in a jiffy. I was going to look into her eyes and lose myself in the intricate maze presented by her jet-black pupils. A plunge into her dark eyes was going to reveal a lot of secrets; it was going to be a lot better than a dive into the deepest oceans where quite a few ships lay buried with all the treasure in the world. For a while, I did wonder if I wanted to discover all her secrets; quite a few were going to be against my values: they were to be a shock for me; all the same, I was going to realise all the potentials I held within myself of diving deep into oceans.

The task of uncovering secrets involved a lot of patience and endurance, I know. I didn’t know if I had all the patience required to sustain my curiosity long enough for the long and deep dive into the ocean I was thinking of diving in. The ocean-bed was to be touched, and I was going to have to scrape the ocean-bed for a long time without any support in the form of fresh air to unravel and unfurl all the secrets. There were a lot of secrets buried in the ocean bed, and I wanted to unravel all of them. there was a typical joy in discovering them, and I wanted to enjoy all of it to the very best of my potentials.

Somehow, I knew that I was going to forget all about everything in the world above me while I dug deep into many layers of the ocean-bed. This was what I had been looking for all the time. I had to forget everything in my past in order to embrace a happy future, and I really wanted it to be happy. I wanted to begin my life afresh. I wanted to learn from all the mistakes I had made in my life, and move on.

There were a lot of mistakes I had made in the life I had lived in the world above the sea-surface, and I had learnt some strong lessons from the mistakes I had made in the life I had lived in the world above me. I have tabulated all of them, and I wish someone could use these lessons for his or her good. The truth is everyone has a different life, and a different set of experiences. There is a sharp difference in the way  everyone emerges out of the horde of experiences one has in one’s life, and the solutions to the problems I had to face may not be effective when applied to other’s problems. I knew this, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

There is no way anyone can learn from my experiences of life. No one needs to learn anything from my life. Everyone has different experiences in their life. There is a sharp and marked difference in the experiences and even the lessons one learns from them. There is simply no way one can generalize one’s experiences or even the lessons one learns in life, although everyone wants their experiences to be used by future generations.

I want my daughter to learn from the variety of experiences I have had, although I know Zeenat will have her own set of diverse and typical experiences that will mould her vision of life. She will have her own set of typical likes and dislikes different from the ones I have. She will have a different set of problems in her life, and there will be an entirely different set of solutions she will be faced with.

I shall not be in a position to impose any of the lessons I learnt from my life on her. There will be an entirely different set of equations in her life, that will require  a set of solutions completely  different from the ones that solved the questions I had in my life. there is no master-key that can unlock all the locks.

examination-papers have been set out in advance, but no one knows the exact questions or even the order of questions that are to be put up before any of us. the element of surprise in the order of questions or even the questions in life is what makes life exciting and challenging. I wish there was a way I can help Zeenat clear the exam of life, but there is none.

Everyone is to be promoted in the exam of life, I know. The examination is merely a formality, but the quality of life one is exposed to depends on the ease with which the examinees answer the questions. This means one has to prepare well for the exam. Those who don’t work hard enough for the exam shall also clear it, but they shall not be able to enjoy the quality of life enjoyed by those who worked hard for the exam.

There is a typical catch in the situation. Those who work hard to fare well in the exams at times fail to enjoy the good quality of life they worked hard for. Scoring good grades in the exam of life is never a guarantee of a good quality of life. At the same time, those who don’t fare well in the exams also get to enjoy a good quality of life. A good score at the exams conducted by life doesn’t seem to be a guarantee for a good quality of life.

I only hope the   score I was able to create with life is going to be enable me to enjoy a fairly good quality of life, if not a very good quality of life. I wish there was a way to guarantee a good quality of life for Zeenat too, but there is no way this can be done. She has to bear her share of adversities, and they shall be typically different from the ones I have had to go through. Her quality of life is going to bank on several factors that shall be beyond even her powers.