In Quest Of A Better Life

In Quest Of A Better Life
There are so many dents on the automobile of my life that the driver feels embarrassed while driving it. The dents are the handiwork of Time as it went through my being in all its different forms and shapes. It has hammered out its presence and has left signs of itself all over my being.  It has certainly not been very kind in the way it has dealt with me.

I have been through a lot of thick and thin in my life; everyone has to go over a couple of crests and troughs in life. My life hasn’t been any different. The difference I perceive may be a matter of perception. A happy man views the world around him to be happy and merry, while someone not happy is more likely to view the whole world as companions in suffering. I’m the happy being looking at happiness over crests and troughs in life.

There have been several crests and troughs in my life that have brought about a destruction of  several ideals I have held in my mind for a long time. There have been several events that have ravished the fabric of my life in a ruthless manner. they have brought down all ideals from their high perch. It was essential to bring down these high ideals because they don’t exist in real life. At the end of the day, there has been a regular flow of events in my life that has pushed out all ideals I treasured in my mind.

I fail to perceive a parallel life. I feel I have been dealt in a bad way by my fate, worse than anyone else has been dealt with. I feel fate has elongated the tests it conducts upon everyone, my test has been stretched a bit too long. While everyone else has already emerged out of the preliminary tests and even the final tests conducted by fate with flying colours, I haven’t even got the signal to attempt the test. In the ideal case, I should have been near the end of the race, but this proposition would have turned out to be true only if had I begun the race at the appropriate time, but I didn’t begin to run when everyone else began to run.

The point is I don’t see anyone else suffering in the exact manner I have suffered, and my share of suffering hasn’t come to an end yet. There are still many more aeons of time through which I have to suffer, and each moment is to be tilted towards suffering in a typical manner. I shall not be able to do anything to help myself out in any manner, I shall have to suffer, and this is what makes my suffering all the more unbearable. I’ll have to live with it, I don’t have an option.

Suffering ennobles you, it is said, but I fail to see how and why my suffering is going to ennoble me. I fail to see how and in what manner the angst I feel because of my prolonged examination is going to make me noble. It has only brought out some ugly faces of people that I would not have been able to see had I been examined in a positive potential or had my life been of an ordinary kind. I have learnt many important lessons of life I would never have come across had life been normal for me. Life has taught me a whole set of novel and new lessons in life. I wonder if this is the kind of ennoblement that is destined for me.

My life has been quite like watching TV. I feel I’ve been watching different channels on the television as I move over the different phases of my life. There is a fair chance of the program  being shown on the next channel one lands upon being better than the program being shown on the channel I switched over from, but at the same time there is a fair chance of the program on the next channel being still better. I have no choice but to keep switching between channels in the hope of finding the best channel.

I keep jumping between different phases of life feeling the new one to be a bit better and easier than the last one. This is quite like jumping over different channels on the television. Though there is always a chance of the next channel displaying a worse program than the one I am already watching, yet I move over channels all the same in the hope of finding something better. I move to the next phase of life in the hope of finding something better, but somehow, I know it is not going to be any better. I learn some important lessons of living at each phase, and although they can’t be used in the next phase or any other phase of my life that is to come my way, I do learn a lot of lessons in life.

The new lessons in life have certainly prepared me in a better manner to face all kinds of adversities of life. I have learnt many important theorems of life that are going to help me deal with a whole lot of geometrical and arithmetical problems I shall face in my life. Everyone faces a different set of problems, and there can never be a universal solution to problems. Theorems of life are not going to change, but they are going to teach different lessons to different people. Everyone has to develop a unique and typical shield in life that protects one from different kinds of adversities in life.

I only wonder if I am better than my peers who haven’t had to face any of the problems I had to face. Their problems have been of  a different sort. Solutions to the problems I have faced certainly made a harder and tougher being in me ready to face all kinds of different problems in my life. I’m sure they aren’t going to embarrass me like the dents on the automobile embarrass the driver.  I have developed a shield typical to the problems I have faced in my life, and I hope it is going to help me live a better life.