Hoping For The Best

Hoping For The Best
It was the biggest secret treasured by them. I knew a part of it, but I wasn’t aware of the gravity of the situation. I wish it wasn’t so important a part of my life because I never gave any attention to it. My life would have been quite different today had I given it the slightest bit of attention and importance.

There is so much I would like to change in my life, but this is a part of my life I would like to change the most. It is going to be quite difficult to view my life without it being a part of it, but things would really have been different had I given it the attention and importance I have realised I should have.

On second thoughts, I realise all that has happened with me and all that is to happen with me are a part of my fate, something that had been coded a long time ago, even before I was born. It is something I cannot change or I cannot rewrite, however much I may want it to be rewritten. This is one of the things that I cannot do and no one else can do it either. I’ve realised that man cannot do everything even if he wants to do everything, contrary to what is commonly said about man being able to do everything if only he wants to.

There are a lot of things that are important to life and to living that are simply not in our control. Our fate and destiny are among them. We have to follow the paths shown by our fates, whether we like it or not. The worst part of it is that none of us have an idea of what the next step taken by us is going to be like. There is a severe unpredictability in life and this is what makes life all the more fun and exciting.

None of us know what is going to happen with us the next moment. There have been some people who claim to be able to tell the future, and quite a few of them do tell the future quite precisely. It is prohibited to consult such a person as per the tenets of Islam, but I did pay heed to some words in this context.

This is something like sitting in the front seat of a car or even a bus right next to the driver. The position allows you to get an idea of the road ahead, and you get to know of the road the car or bus is to go on. You have a comprehensive idea of all dangers the bus has successfully avoided. You get an idea of the future, and what could have happened if the bus-driver had not done his best to drive the bus carefully. driving the car or bus was never your purview; you could only be a mute spectator.

To some extent, this applies to our lives too. The only difference is that one can never seat oneself next to The Driver of our lives. There is no way one can get an idea of the future that is to come before us, and there is no way one can prepare for any of the dangers one is to face in life. The very spontaneous and instantaneous nature of life is what makes it all the more exciting, but the excitement can get to be really uncomfortable if the surprises one meets are of an ugly nature.

The problem in my case has been that I had a vague idea of the ground that was to come before me, and yet I couldn’t do anything to prepare myself to meet any of them. There has been a consolation within me that life has been following a plan, I have had very little to do with the plan, but at the same time, there is an anxiety at my being helpless before the prolonged separation of all the events in my life.

I strongly disagree with those who say we write our own destiny. Practically, very little, or absolutely nothing has been in my hands; events have followed a pre-scripted pattern. I had a faint idea of all this, this is the best and the worst part of it. I have been doing whatever fate has wanted me to do.

I only hope the idea I have of my ultimate future does turn into a concrete reality one day just as everything else has. I badly wish it could come true. There is very little or absolutely nothing I can do to help it come true, or even to nullify it. I can’t do anything to negate it, and I can’t do anything to make it come true. I am helpless.

I find myself in a situation where someone has opened the door of the washroom while I was easing myself on the commode. It is going to be a very embarrassing situation when the person walks in, but I can’t do anything to help myself. The door of the washroom is locked from within in the normal course, but my case hasn’t been normal, I remind myself. My best bet is the identity of the person who knocked on the door, and if my response on hearing the knock is acted upon in any manner. I wish I had locked the door as in the normal case, but my case has not been a normal one.

I can only hope for the best.