Seeking A Bomb-Shelter

Seeking A Bomb-Shelter
A break in the incessant bombing of adversities is what I’m looking for. The juncture is to be followed by another phase of incessant bombing of adversities, which is to be harsher than the incumbent one, I know, but the pause in bombing signifying a complete ceasefire in future is most welcome, particularly when it comes after a long period of bombing. The welcome break is a part of everyone’s life at quite an early instance, but this happens only in the ordinary course of events; events haven’t followed a normal course in my case.

I strongly feel life hasn’t dealt its cards to me with tact equal to that with which it has dealt them to everyone else. Even the nature of the cards dealt to me has been different. This might be a matter of perception, and this can be behind my pessimistic view of life. All the same, I find myself behind my peers in all races of life. They haven’t been running hard and fast, but I have been a slow runner. I certainly have waded apart from the mainstream followed by most of my peers.

I strongly feel I have been walking on a different track I’ve created for myself, although the path I have been trying to walk on has been frequented by a lot of people before me. It is only that I haven’t known a lot of these people who have diverged from the mainstream. There are very few people who walk on the tracks I have been trying to walk on. There must be something special about these people, and there must be something special about me.

It is a detour from the main track, I have been following, but it is supposed to lead to the same end as will be by those who follow a normal path. The apathy is that it has taken a longer time for me to reach the end despite the detour I have taken. The detour one takes is supposed to shorten the way, or at least make it a bit easier, but it has served the opposite in my case. I find myself searching for my destination when everyone else is already at it. the path has been quite tough and difficult too. I sometimes feel I should not have taken the detour. It has only made the road to the destination a lot longer.

A part of the problem has been that the urgency to reach the destination wasn’t highlighted to me when the task was assigned to me. People can say I failed to get the importance of getting over to the destination in the shortest time. I should have adopted the shortest and most popular route, and I would have reached the destination by now. On second thoughts, I may have come across a calamity had I adopted the normal route. I was pushed to take the detour by my fate, so this means there was a merit for me in it, or there was a demerit waiting for me had I followed a normal path.

The destination I am headed for is clear only to me; no one else can see the destination I am headed for. For this reason, everyone perceives me as someone out without a definite destination in mind. I chose a different destination, a destination no one knows of, and this is probably why I still haven’t reached it yet. I should have chosen a destination everyone heads for, I may have been standing there by now, but I didn’t have an idea that the difference in the choice is going to make reaching the destination so difficult and make it so long a journey.

Those who have an idea of the destination I am headed for and I shall touch one day are the ones who know the value of the efforts I make to get to the destination, but they are quite rare. A part of the problem has been because of my inability to explain the worth of the different destination I'm headed for. I've been very slow in my progress towards the destination. My goals have not been very clear to me, this may be why I have been slow in getting to the destination, but this is also a part of my fate and destiny. I sometimes wish my fate had dealt cards to me like it does to everyone else, and life had been a bit easier for me.

I shouldn’t expect life to deal with me in a similar way as it deals with everyone else because of the different path I have had to take; the difference in the track is largely because my fate wanted it to be different. It hasn’t been my doing, I have done very little to do at his end.

I have simply been pushed away from the path followed by my peers by hands that have been invisible and that have had a stronger force than any other force I’ve ever experienced. The force has ingrained a typical difference in me, although I wish it had ingrained a different force within me. I wish it had propelled a force to bear the dissonance of embracing a difference. The dissonance has been  gathering pace within me, and it has imbibed several differences into my life. I court differences from my peers at several different quarters and so my life too has been a lot different.

The different treatment meted out to me has made me stand out of the rest of the crowd in a typical way. I stand out of the rest of my peers, but I don’t have anything special to mark me as different. A marking is considered to be a negative score, so in a way, I’m glad there is no mark on me. This has had its own negative effects. While I deserve a special treatment, the special treatment and its very need has been nullified by virtue of the lack of a mark on me. I really don’t know if I ought to thank Allah for the lack of marking or should I curse my fate for it. It has made me stand out of my peers, but in a typical manner.

The difference in which life has dealt with me has pushed me before a special bomb-shelter, made particularly for me. It is supposed to shield me from the incessant bombing of adversities in my life. I hope it does its work well.