A Plunge Into Her Eyes

A Plunge Into Her Eyes
I saw a glimpse of my future in her eyes as she looked at me. It was a lot sweeter than any of the images of my past buried deep in my mind. The future usually invokes a certain amount of fear because of its uncertain nature, but the future I saw in her eyes at that moment was quite beautiful. I developed an affinity with the images of my future I saw in her eyes over a short period of time, and I badly wanted to move towards it. There was a typical attraction in what I saw in her eyes that made me look down upon my past and present as something insignificant, puny and unworthy of notice. I wanted to move on to take a dip into her dark and mysterious eyes. It was the most important task at the hour.

The entire purpose of my existence is to take a plunge into her eyes. I am prepared to forget all my earlier associations for her sake. There is a brighter bulb lit in her eyes than any I had ever seen, and I feel myself pulled towards it like a firefly. All my friends and relatives are standing on the backstage of my life at that moment. She is the only important protagonist in my life, and she is going to be the most important one when and if others showed their faces.

There was a typical catharsis effected in me as I felt my soul leaving its old body quite like a snake sheds its skin and rejuvenates itself. The old body had a lot of typical affiliations which are childish before the one it is to form now. The soul has to leave the body of a child, I remind myself and move on to an adult body. With itself, the soul is to take all of the affiliations it had while it was in the body of a child. It is to bring a whole lot of new affiliations when it enters the body of an adult.

The adult is a completely different and independent creature. The snake that shed its skin is to assume a completely different form once it gets into its new skin. I’m not sure if the changed form is to be any better than the original one in any manner. There are all chances of the future being worse than the present and even my past, but I don’t have an option but to move on towards the world in her eyes.

There is a lot of angst accumulated within me because I haven’t been able to change my skin when my peers and contemporaries are miles ahead in the race after changing their skin. I wonder why fate didn’t want me to change my skin at the appropriate time. I wonder why it didn’t create a dissonance within me towards the skin I was in.

Everyone develops a typical dissonance towards the present they are in, and is forced to shed their skin. I couldn’t develop a dissonance, or the one I developed wasn’t strong enough to push me to shed my original skin. Certain typical situations in my life didn’t predicate my shedding of my skin at the appropriate time. I badly wish there was a way to go back in time and rectify all situations to incorporate a dissonance strong enough within me to shed my skin. I wish I could rectify all that went wrong with me.

Life would have been quite different had I shed my skin at the appropriate time and if I had been like everyone else. It is quite like a sweet dream I see, a dream that cannot ever come true. I remind myself that my inability to shed skin at the appropriate time was because of certain typicalities ingrained in me by foes of time. I have had absolutely no powers to control the flow of time through my being, and the way it has created a havoc within my being. I shall never be able to do anything concrete in this direction.

I don’t think I need any powers to counter the flow of time and the dictates of my destiny. I should accept the superiority of the powers they hold over all my conscious efforts to effect a change in their plans.  I haven’t been able to do anything significant in this direction, although I’ve tried my level best.

If I do my level best to dive into her eyes and remain there for a long time, and my fate has a different diving-plan for me, I don’t think all my efforts can do anything towards any end can work out well. I wonder if I should make efforts to plunge into the ocean of secrets before me; is it worth the effort?

I shall be losing all roots I held in my past. I’m not sure if I shall be able to bind myself with the ground ever again if I dislodged myself at this juncture. On the other hand, the future is has to be embraced by all of us one day in whatever form it may present itself. I don’t see a point in delaying what is sure to happen in one form or the other. I don’t want to remain behind in an ocean of despair and dismay for a long time, and that too because I missed on a chance to rescue myself. I don’t think this is an attractive option.

I shall plunge into her eyes and I hope I shall forget everything else once I am in them.