A Solution To Some Problems In My Life

A Solution To Some Problems In My Life
There was an attractive scent in my future that made me break away from my past to step into a future that was a mystery for me till now.  it was like stepping  into a world of which I was only allowed to dream  of till now. I wasn’t sure of the precise nature of the dream: it could be a pleasant one, or it might as well be a nightmare. There were all chances of it being a nightmare because my experiences with life in the past haven’t been quite good. I strongly feel life hasn’t dealt its cards fairly to me, and I deserve some more care and attention by my fate as a compensation.

I have been exposed to several realities of life in the recent past, and they have broken all images I had in my dreams. All the dreams I had dreamt of in my formative years couldn’t be turned into a reality however hard I tried. I feel very bad about it when I realise that almost none of the dreams I had visualised in my past could turn out to be true. 

At the same time, I also feel there is an esoteric benefit for me when Allah dictated my dreams to remain in the domain of the abstractions they were. The good intention hidden in their remaining the dreams they were shall probably never be known to me, but I can do  nothing about this except for being thankful for their remaining the dreams they were.  I do wonder if I ought to dream at all.

The reason for their being unfulfilled wishes could be that the time for their fulfillment hasn’t arrived. I only have to wait for the appointed time to come. I guess I ought to be grateful that at least all of my basic needs have been fulfilled. There are several cases where even the basic needs remain unfulfilled.  The problem is that life doesn’t pause or stop after being grateful for the basic needs being fulfilled.

Life goes on, and there stands one of the most prominent dreams in my life that reminds me of the unstable nature of my reality. The reality has to be stable and complete for all of dreams to come true. The instability and incomplete nature of my reality has been one of the most dominating problems in my life. There have been several points where my reality consonates with my dreams, but these points are quite few. I wonder if I ought to be grateful for their being turned into a reality. there are several others who dream of the luxuries I enjoy and don’t see their dreams come true in any manner.

The life I see presented before me in my dreams runs away in a completely new and novel format before my very eyes when I want to capture its essence in the form of reality. Dreams always have a better speed than reality. They always run faster than reality, and they are always ahead in the race. Alternatively, my dreams always run away at a pace only my mind is acquainted with when I try to relate them with the reality before me. The two never come to common terms when the issue is running between two ends.

For instance, the dreams I visualise predicated an instant movement away from celibacy, but the reality that has been presented before me doesn’t look at things from this angle. There has been an inordinate delay in crossing the red line indicating celibacy, and I haven’t been able to do anything about it. A similar delay has been a part of the picture before me in almost all cases and all parts of my life. There has always been an inordinate delay in crossing the line separating my reality and my dreams. I strongly feel that my case has always been a bit different from what happens in the normal course of events. I saw some different dreams from what my peers were exposed to, and so the reality has been quite different.

The problem has been largely a matter of perception. I want events to occur in the normal course for myself. I tend to forget there have been a lot of differences between me and my peers. While they have faced some other problems in their life, I have had to face a different set of problems in my life because of my having deviated from the norm. The biggest part of the problem has been that while everyone else has had almost all their problems solved in their case, all of my problems haven’t been solved so far. I wonder if I ought to be grateful for the few that have been solved, or that are not a part of the picture of life before me.

I compare myself with others who don’t face the typical problems I face. They face some other problems, but they have been given the potential to come out of the incumbent situations with flying colours. It is quite possible that Allah has given all of u the potential to bear through the problems that confront us, and I haven’t been able to appreciate the solutions provided to my set of problems because I have been busy in looking at problems others face. They don’t seem to face any problems, because  my perception of their problems is a lot different.

This is why I feel a lot of my problems remain unsolved. They shall probably never be solved. I shall never be able to do anything about their solutions. These problems remain in the domain of the unsolved problems a solution of which remains only a dream for me. I wish I could do something to help myself out of the situation.

I wish I could solve some problems in my life.