When Will I Meet Her?

When Will I Meet Her?
I  had been there a couple of year back. I was acquainted with every nook and cranny of the place. I knew everything about the place. It was here that we met for the first time, and it was here that our love climbed several new parameters. It was the seat of so many love-stories that I feel a matrimonial service should be initiated by the Vice-Chancellor for counseling prospective partners. The two of us found ourselves in Aligarh for a few days, and despite the frequent power-cuts that are still a part of the milieu here, the place held a typical attraction for both of us.

This was where we had seen each other for the first time in our lives, and this was where we had professed our love for each other. It was never said so in so many words; words aren’t needed when hearts are united. A conversation is conducted at a metaphysical level; the level is superior to all other levels of relationships in the world. We were out to discover a completely new relationship that was to be better than any other relationship in the world, and yet we were to live in the same world.

We lived in two different worlds while we were students, but it was to become one by virtue of our union. The same wind was to blow through our worlds, and it was going to make the atmosphere all the more cool and conducive to love and harmony. I was going to be a post-graduate, while she was on the way to be called a graduate. Both of us looked forward to the days when we were going to be together and together forever and a day.

There is a typical magic in the four-lettered word, ‘love’, that makes the bond stronger as it develops over time, and eventually, lovers graduate to a life-long commitment. The magic makes lovers pine for each other’s company when not with each other, and it is only being in each other’s company for a long time that can fill in all gaps left blank by love. This is what makes young boys and girls huddle over a burger or a pizza or even nothing in fast-food outlets in malls and other places. This is what brings them together on park-benches in public-parks.

This was what brought the two of us together in the area around Kennedy Auditorium on several instances. We didn’t have the courage to declare our affection before the world, so we met in a place which was a favourite meeting point for many more people stricken with love. The problem was I didn’t have an idea of the future that awaited me after completing my post-graduation. Practically, I was headed towards a dead-end.

For our relationship to go on to the next level, I had to have some amount of financial security for myself. With the couple of physical handicaps I have, I was going to find it difficult to fight against the world on terms it dictated. I had to fight a losing battle on terms I dictated. It was a battle I was losing, and I had no power to win it. There were many more battles to be fought against a defiant world, and I didn’t have a say in the way any one was to be fought. The world was on its way to win every battle and it was going to win the war too.

I was determined not to lose the battle before me. I had lost all other battles, and I certainly didn’t want to lose the war too.  I had to win all individual battles, not just one or two to be declared victorious in the war, I know. There was so much at stake; I couldn’t afford to lose any battles, particularly the ones before me now. The most significant battles to be fought and won now were academic ones and a romantic one.

A victory at academic battles had lost its sheen a long time back. It didn’t matter to me whether I won with flying colours or without any laurels. It is a battle where the runner-ups are known to get a better reward than the winners. I know. I only have to put in my best and things will fall into place, I know.

Well, actually, things didn’t fall into place in my case. My life hasn’t followed the path it should have. There have been several instances where I have diverged from the mainstream. I’m aware of the difference I court with my peers and contemporaries and somehow, I know there can never be a fair completion. The competitors are not equal in this case. I had to accept my fate when I had to face a lot of failures in real life. I wish I didn’t hold so many differences with my peers.

She stands with me today while her husband relaxes on a chair in the veranda of the university guest-house. Incidentally, our love-story didn’t find a utopian end destined for everyone else. I strongly feel all love-stories have a happy ending, and it is only our love-story that was fated for a different end. I badly wish I could go back in time and rectify all mistakes I made. I wish I knew where I committed the mistakes.

There will be someone who will point out all my mistakes to me someday. Somehow, I feel she will be better than her. I only wonder when I will meet her and who she is to be.