Zeenat: An Oasis In A Desert

Zeenat: An Oasis In A Desert
It was like having discovered the shortest route to Eldorado when I found her standing like a mannequin before me. The mannequin was to be brought to life by a couple of spells cast on it by a magician. The spells were to alter the entire course of her life; there was to be a change effected in her perspective of the world, and even in the way she looked at the world. The world was going to change for her.

She was going to enter my world in a couple of days. It was to be like a confluence of two rivers flowing in opposite directions.  The point of convergence is to be decorated like all other points of convergences have been, but I’m aware of the differences our convergence courts with other such instances. I recognise the sharp line demarcating between me and my peers, and yet I want a similar treatment as meted out to my peers by fate. I have been dealt with in a different manner, and the difference has been highlighted to a great extent. The point is that the line separating me from my peers is quite thin and invisible and yet it has separated us quite successfully.

I perceive success in a different format from my peers because my peers have been exposed to an entirely different life. For me, success spells out as a series of struggles without an end; the very fact I have struggled against odds translates into success for me. I console myself with the belief that the reward I shall get at the end of all my struggles shall be proportionate to the struggles I have had to put up for it. This will be a point when I shall not consider the reward as worthy of all the struggles, and I shall move on in quest of a greater reward. Practically, no one ever gets the reward one is out for although everyone does get rewarded for the efforts one puts in.

Virtually, it is the efforts one makes to get a reward that make up the reward. The walk I have to make towards the reward is to itself contain all the reward one is to get at the end of the walk. The visible reward is going to fade into the ether with time, when it is to be replaced by a higher reward. It is only to shift to higher dimensions when I get to it. This way, I am to continue to make efforts for the reward forever because I shall never be satiated with whatever I get. If the efforts I am to make to get the reward are to be the reward of all my efforts, this means I shall always be rewarded in some form or the other as long as I live. I guess I ought to thank the phenomenon of the reward being shifted to a higher point whenever I get to it for the repeated reward I get.

But the joy I discover on getting rewarded is to be momentary. The happiness and satisfaction are to fade into the ether as soon as the reward shifts to a higher point. I shall find myself pining and yearning for a higher level of happiness and satisfaction once I get what I want. I wonder why everyone has to make so much effort for the sake of a bit of satisfaction that is to fade into ignominy in a little while.

A quest for a wee bit of happiness and satisfaction one finds is what pushes one to do things one is not likely to do in the normal course of events. This is what makes the world go around its axis. I seek happiness and satisfaction in the form of the concrete form of Zeenat. I sometimes consider the abstract form of Zeenat a miracle that was propelled into my life through my imagination to give a boost to me. This way, whatever I do everyday, I do to convert the  abstract form of Zeenat into a concrete shape. The very thoughts of Zeenat have been pushing me on to create patterns of success in a world where success reigns like a king over those who crave for success.

Success spells out in a different form for different people. For someone lost in a desert or in a jungle, success means getting out of it as soon as possible. For me, Zeenat is like an oasis in a desert I have been wandering around for a long time. I have been going around in circles; I have lost my way in the desert. There is no end to the struggles I have to put in before I get to the oasis in the form of Zeenat. Zeenat is only an oasis. She is not to be the end of the journey which aimed at coming out of the desert.

I still have a long way to go.