Time Takes The Best Decisions

Time Takes The Best Decisions
She was standing before me at what seemed to me to be the most important door of my life. It wasn’t as important as my fate and destiny had made it for me. Perhaps this is an illusion created by my fate. It only wants to create an illusion of a tough struggle against odds so I can appreciate whatever awaits me at the other end of the rainbow. I am doing my best to get to the other end of the rainbow as soon as possible, but getting to the other end has never been my domain.  It has largely been something my fate and destiny scripted for me long before the universe was created. A late arrival has not been in my hands, nothing has been. My life has been following a typical path that is a bit different from a path followed by any ordinary instance of recurring heartbeats.

I’m not sure what happens in the ordinary course of events; I’m only sure my life hasn’t followed an ordinary course at all. For everyone else, this is merely another frontier of life that is to be crossed, and they do it without facing a lot of problems. Whatever problems they come across are a part of history in a few days, and they get to move on. Getting to the other end is only another race they run and win. It is nothing significant, and certainly not as significant as it has been made for me. It isn’t that they don’t face a lot of problems. They do face some problems, but they are only momentary and fade away with time.

One of the biggest problems in my case has been that there doesn’t seem to be an end to the problems I have had to face before I reach the destination. They have only compounded and increased in number; everyday, there is a new problem before me that is quite unlike any other problem I have ever faced. I wish I could get rid of all the problems in my life. This is something like the predicament before a physician faced with a case of AIDS.

The disorder refuses to be cowed down with  a single and simple remedy. The physician is forced to deal with individual symptoms as they surface, and they have to be dealt with individually. This is the only way to deal with the disorder. The best solution would have been to eliminate AIDS completely from the individual, but as it is, AIDS is an incurable malady. There is simply no way it can be treated.

There is simply no overall remedy for the ailment hounding the body of my life. They are to surface in one form or the other, and they are to keep doing this throughout my life. There is to be absolutely no respite from them. There is simply no way I can  ever put an end to all of them once and for all. They are bound to surface in my life in one form or the other, and they are sure to wreck havoc over my being.

They are in my life to make the cacophony between the good times and the bad times sound all the more cool and pleasant, but I strongly feel they have outlived their welcome period. I want some symphony in my life and not cacophony. It only adds to my misery to give an ear to the miserable music. They are certainly not welcome in my being any more. They ought to think seriously of leaving my being now. I wish there was a way I could show them the gate and close the gate well and securely so that nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever manage to get in or even get out.

This is a utopian wish. There is no way I can ever block out the sonorous sounds of agony and misery from my life. The shower is to continue as long as I live. I’ll have to change my outlook towards life. I’ll have to perceive sounds of happiness in my life with a broader smile on my face and sounds of agony and misery with a smile not so broad.  A smile is to be presented before these problems as and when they come before me in different formats. There is no other way to tackle all the misery in my life in a better way.

I’ll have to deal with life and all it gives me in a similar manner at all stages and steps. If she is to be a part of my life, she will also be an audience to all sounds, whether they are harbingers of misery or of happiness. I don’t know if she deserves to be a part of all the misery life has in store for me. Only time knows the solution to the puzzle if she really deserves to step beyond the doorstep of my life. I cannot promise a bed of roses for her, but then real life seldom is.